6th cycle and mixed

Yesterday was the last infusion of the 6th cycle. In total, it was 18 weeks long of treatment. How was my response? I think it has been rather mixed. Out of the 6 cycles, 2 were not very encouraging. The latest reading was "dismal" despite being on intensive targetted therapy, no significant change from the result of cycle 4. Dr. Gerrard Teoh has now requested for a MRI to be done on Monday, 30th March at 8.30am (pray that I will stay calm in the capsule, I will bring along Deborah Mae's CD). The MRI is to see if there are any intensive spot i.e. bone lesion, and if there are, radiotherapy may be the answer. I am not keen on going for another series of radiotherapy, as it may increase risk to leukemia. Well, the doctor should know what is best as we move forward. We will place our trust in the LORD over the overcome of the MRI.

Paul and I are reminded and reassured from ODB reading of the day that the LORD is our Ebenezer, "Thus far the LORD has been our help" 1 Samuel 7:12 It is very comforting to see the word of GOD speaking very deeply into our hearts, to strengthen our faith. We must remain hopeful and persevere. We look to the LORD for healing and restoration.

dogs in N'hood

This is really hilarious. In our neighbourhood, we know each other by our dogs. Not really that well, simply just hello, smile, how are you... maybe over time it can be better. For a start we do have friendly neighbours. But we don't know each other's name! We know the names of the dogs! Ha, Ha.
There are the 2 brown Cavalier King Charles (same breed as Snookie) named Kato and Tiger. First they had Kato (sidekick of Green Hornet - Bruce Lee, only people of our generation will know about Green Hornet!) and then some time later Tiger came along (we had thought he be named Bruce or something...) The next time we see the owner of Kato and Tiger, we are going to introduce ourselves by name and get to know our neighbour by name. Of course Paul has another way of identifying our neighbours.... that one is driving a Volvo and licence plate xxxx lives at that corner of the neighbourhood.
Not too far away, we have Chikita and Zorro. This lady owner, silver haired and small built but driving a British green, aged Triumph... I think. She will be going around with more than just 2 plastic poo bags, she picks up poos of other dogs too, whose owners are not very responsible. Once Russell was walking home in the evening after work and in his long pants and long sleeve shirt was stopped by this lady. She had picked one poo too many and had needed to off-load her complaint to someone, just anyone who walked by. Russell, very politely assented and agreed to her outpouring of the duties of dog-owners! Ha, Ha when we heard this, we said that Russ is really the wrong chap to stop...he does not walk dogs...and he is averse to dog poo...! ...but at least he listened attentively with a smile...
And we have Mr. Wang, he used to walk his dog with a big stick in one hand and that is just as protection from the big dogs. We used to have a couple - big sized ang mohs with a pair of big sized Rottweillers. We heard that a couple of times, a small dog and its minder were attacked. We are also more cautious with Snookie whenever a larger breed comes around. Well not all large breed are fierce, we like the friendly Labs and Golden Retreivers.
Lately we spotted a hypo-allergenic specie - a LabroDoodle....are the Obamas getting one of these?
That is our nice little neighbourhood - Paul and I walk in the evening, mostly after dinner.

The Bible has something to say about pets and non-pets:
Proverbs 12:10 A righteous man cares for the needs of his animal, but the kindest acts of the wicked are cruel.
[consider this verse : there is a lot kindness and goodness around but the reality is that there is also alot of evil and wickedness and sometimes when we are confronted with it we cannot accept it. The Bible tells us that even the kindest acts of the wicked are cruel. This the world we live in.]

baby Thaddaeus 15.3 - 4.11

What joy, the LORD has blessed us with baby Thaddaeus. Baby T was borne on Sunday 15 March at 4.11pm. Melissa went to the hospital on Saturday just beforew midnight. Gerald and Adele had cooked us a sumptious dinner and before we settled into bed, Melissa was experiencing some cramps. Through the night she had some contractions, the doctor saw her in the morning and put her on epidural after 10am. After that, she was more relaxed and that helped with the dilation of the cervix. By 4pm she was fully dilated, though the doctor had predicted delivery to be around 8pm. And 11 minutes after 4, baby T was borne! Wow , quite a speedy labour - this is really GOD's grace. Both mother and child are well.

Look at Paul, he seems to be handling baby T quite confidently. I can't remember when was the last time he carried a baby. I know he will make a fantastic grandpop (he is already a fantastic grandpop to our grandpup - Snookie). We really don't feel so "old" eventhough we have been promoted to "grand". Our hearts are so filled joy for this abundant blessing from the LORD to Melissa and Andy.

Little Cheers

This week is my rest week and I am nursing an irritating cough that comes and goes. When I was on antibiotic, it went away after 2 days and after completing the course, it came back again a couple of days later, not in a serious way, as with fever and such but rather as a tickle in my throat and a mild sore throat. So I have been avoiding cold drinks, fried food, citrus fruits etc.

Today my 3 friends had arranged to meet for lunch and I couldn't say yes or no until this morning. Why? Because when I went to bed last night the cough acted up. Paul was in church for a meeting and I was trying to sleep early and be better for today. But the irritation in my throat was bugging me. I got up for some hot water to ease the discomfort and sucked on a lozenge AND as I laid down again, I called on to the LORD for help. LORD, please grant me rest for the night, You know how Paul would remain wakeful each time I get into a coughing "frenzy". Yes, please give Paul a good night rest too (we have had several wakeful nights in the last 4 weeks). I cast my anxiety on the LORD 1 Peter5:7 "Cast all your anxieties on the LORD for He cares for you". I know I did not want to be on another course of antibiotic (it weakens me quite alot).
Really, after that little prayer, I remained so still and avoided any movement that may trigger the cough. Yes, the hot water and lozenge helped and by the LORD's grace I drifted into a restful sleep through the night, woke up once to have another drink of hot water BUT there was no coughing at all last night. And Paul slept well and was not disturbed. Am I thankful to the LORD? YES, I am!

And this morning I felt well enough to join my 3 friends for a simple lunch fellowship. I have not seen them for 2 months now... the last time SK prepared chilli crab at her home...so memorably yummy.
All was so glad to see me and B couldn't helped but shared this - she prayed this morning that I will be able to come. I came. And she also prayed for her dog who had to visit the vet this morning (each time her dog would be car sick and vomit). She said this is the first time prayed for her dog and indeed this is the first time the dog did not become sick in the car!
Nothing is too inconsequential for prayers. (Many times we think that prayers are only reserved for more important things in life... not true... GOD is interested in our little "anxieties").
YES, we thankful. We are grateful for the little cheers in our lives.
Should I only be thankful when my cough is totally gone...or be thankful that for yesterday night, it did not trouble me, I could sleep and for today, I could be out and not "hacking " away...

furries for Mobile

How do you like these little furries for your mobile phones? I have got some real nice, colorful yarns and turned them into cute furry covers.

Just tell me if you want one and let me know the dimension of your mobile phone and the colour you like; or point to the one in the picture (if it is not already given away, I'll let you have it). Email me and I will get one done for you. (also for friends not living in Singapore). Of course only for my female friends.

5th cycle and Happy

I have just completed 5th cycle. Now I do get a bit more tired, sleepy, a little nauseous but I am eating most of my meals, that's good. I do get diarrhea after each velcade infusion but it doesn’t weaken me like the last time. Tastebuds are a little affected, feeling of blandness but I don’t have the problem of being sickened by Chinese food odour. I really am very thankful to GOD for giving me the strength to go through the treatments a lot better this time round. But I am realistic that it can get a bit more difficult as I go on to the next cycles (6 and 7) because cycle 5 was more tiring than cycle 4. We will continue to seek GOD’s grace to help me persevere and endure the course. Of course I must be careful and not get sick with other infections since my immunity is still rather low. IgA is at 44 (range should be 70-230). IgG has improved, dropped from high range to normal. IgM is at the low end of normal. Dr G is careful about adding immunoglobulin infusion since my last adverse reaction.
More importantly, the M band is down to 4. I am thankful to the LORD for this encouragement. This is really good news because we were not very certain if this treatment protocol is effective, now we can proceed with a little bit more confidence. Cancer management is not an exact science. The right dose for each patient and their reaction to the toxicity are so different. All these drugs may have some effect on the kidneys, liver and heart, so these organs need to be monitored as well.
I seek your continued prayers - strength to keep with the treatment protocol and for it to be effective to eradicate the myeloma - immunity level for IgA to improve - protection on the organs - and most of all we praise and give thanks to the LORD together.
Ps.118:19 Open for me the gates of righteousness, I will enter and give thanks to the LORD.

Green Tea and Velcade

A recent article in Feb 3 2009 -
http://www.hematology.org/media/02032009.cfm
Green Tea May Negate the Effects of a Common Cancer Therapy (WASHINGTON, February 3, 2009) – Green tea products have become regarded as a valuable health supplement, as studies have shown evidence of its benefit against a variety of diseases, including cancer. However, a new study suggests that some components of green tea may counteract the anticancer effects of one cancer therapy, bortezomib (Velcade®), and may be contraindicated for patients taking this medicine to ensure its maximum therapeutic benefit. This study is being prepublished online today in Blood, the official journal of the American Society of Hematology. (for the full article, go to the website link above)

After I read this, I wondered what else should I not take that may contraindicate with Velcade. Velcade being the primary treatment agent for multiple myeloma. Something so innocous and harmless like green tea can totally diffuse the effectiveness of Velcade. What other antioxidant compounds act in the same way as green tea? I have now avoided drinking green tea but how about the other teas or other Chinese tonic like ginseng, lingzhi? Nothing yet written because it has not been tested? It is really quite flustering (if there is such a word) I am get jabbed twice a week and I don't know whether I could be consuming something that may affect its efficacy? That is the trouble with new drugs, they are not fully tested.

So where do I go to find out what I can eat and what I should avoid when I am on Velcade? Are there more food produce with similar properties as green tea? If you know tell me.

Chest infection

I came down with a bad chest infection just after my mother-in-law's funeral. I think it has been over 20 days now. It all started with Paul having a serious cold. We took all precautions - he went to sleep in another bedroom for 1 week and whenever he had to drive me to the doctor, he had a mask on and sometimes I had also to put on a mask. We made sure we washed our hands thoroughly. After close to 2 weeks of tight hygiene, Paul told Dr. G that he is thankful that I am OK.... wah...what a mistake....because the next week I came down with a cough. I am rather averse to being happy too soon because it sometimes turn out wrong. We are surrounded by so many sick people, coughing, sneezing...the flu bug is everywhere... and apparently people are sick longer and longer and don't seem able to shake off the bug despite on many courses of antibiotic.

So it is no surprise that I also succumbed. I was so angry (with who???myself, Paul, people, GOD?). When one is ill, one can be rather unreasonable. Why should I be sick again, I was down in November with cough and fever and it is just too soon to fall ill again. With a racking cough and a running fever, I laid in bed with great misery. [Of course that was reason why I could not write in my blog for so long... no energy and no mood...] My days have not been good, still going for treatments and now weakened by the cough bug... I was feeling rather sorry for myself. But in a couple of days the antibiotic worked very well and the cough stopped, the fever went away. When one is feverish one can be quite disoriented and dense and the mind can be filled with awful thoughts.

I thought that I was in the clear for a week but sadly the cough lingered on and I am again on another course of antibiotic. Looks like it is quite hard to shake this cough. I know that many healthy friends had a bout of cough or flu and for some reason they also took a long time to recover. So it is not unexpected that I also am having a hard time with this chest infection primarily because my immunity is low. So I have been resting since Sunday. The strong antibiotic makes me feel like I am in a daze. I drink a lot of water (warm). I am thankful that I still have a good appetite in the morning and lunch time but less so for dinner.

Do pray that I will respond to the antibiotic and be well again.

82 yrs

My mother in law went home to be with the LORD on 6th Feb after almost a decade of ill health with diabetes and a stroke 5 years later. The diabetes caused a leg amputation and she had been wheel chair-bound since then. For a good part of 70 years she was very healthy, living a simple and quiet life and attending our Senior Citizen thursday meetings. That is the highlight of her week and she especially enjoyed the company of Rosie who made a special effort to sit with her and made her welcome. My mother-in-law was a very quiet and private person, did not like to talk much about herself.

One thing I remember fondly of her is that she unlike most MIL, did not interfere with my child-rearing and I never had any incident with her regarding how the children should be fed, disciplined etc. She kindly and patiently took on her grandmotherly duties with cheer. In my early years there were many things I was rather "blur" as a young mother but there was never "I told you so" from her. After Melissa, we had Gerald by that time we had a pretty dependable Penang amah (Ah Gek). With Melissa we were staying at my mother's house for three years, so there was always some family members around to keep a eye. By the time Gerald came we thought we could manage on our own with Ah Gek, so we moved out to our own apartment at Rich East.

I worked, Paul worked and Auntie Gek to look after Melissa at 3 and newborn Gerald. Paul and I thought that was fine. But my in-laws didn't think it good to leave 2 young ones in the hands of a helper. So in their quiet and unobstrutive way, they made daily trips to our apartment to keep watch over the children. My father-in-law was working then, so my mother-in-law was the one who faithfully took a bus all the way from Pasir Panjang to the East Coast just so that she could keep a watch eye over the children. It was a long ride and in the late afternoon she would take the bus back. By the time we got back from work she was gone. She quietly did this for about a year. This was the way my mother-in-law showed her love and care. No interference, no fussing around etc simply accepting our decision and working around it as best as she could. A quiet and kindly mother.

Pictures at the wake - with Paul's only brother's daughter Chloe, father, Auntie Frances and Uncle Kai Poh.

4th cycle VdRz

I am on my 4th cycle. A cycle is 2 weeks of treatment and 1 week of rest. I am very thankful that I am tolerating the treatment very well. The side effects are so mild that I cannot complain. I am able to move about and do almost all that I do when I am not on treatment :-)

VdRz - V is Velcade. Administered on Mondays and Thursdays by injection.
d is dexamethasone. Injest once a week.
R is Revlimid. Injest every alternate day for 3 weeks and rest 1 week. From next week I will take it every day but a lower dose.
z is zometa. Administered once every 3 weeks by infusion.
So far this combination is working well, the blood test shows most readings to be within normal except IGA and IGM - 2 immunity readings dropped, which could be due to the increased dose of Revlimid.
And we will wait for M-band result, always the last to be known. M-band tells us whether the treatment combination is doing a good job.

Our hope is in the LORD. He has been our help thus far, our Ebenezer.
Through this time we learn patience.
Sometimes I "gripped" about how long this illness has taken me. I try not to. I need to distract my mind from it, doing some "light-hearted" activities. Paul has been very patient and endearing, not a word of complain!

At the clinic I have seen one lady responding very well after 2 cycles of targetted treatment. I have also seen another lady deteriorating after a few cycles (but latest news, some response is seen). The doctor tries his best to propose a suitable regiment for each of his patients. But really we should look to the LORD, He knows best, our times are in His hands. We beseech His grace and mercy. Psalm 34
14 But I trust in you, O LORD; I say, "You are my God."
15 My times are in your hands;
Who dares say what to His Creator. If you confess your belief and trust in Him. Then believe! He is the Almighty. Isaiah 59:1 Surely the arm of the LORD is not too short to save, nor His ear too dull to hear. We abide by His time and by His will. He is our Creator.

A Happy Reunion

Every year when Hilda comes back from Melbourne, she always make time to meet up with our ex-colleagues. Last year I could not join them but Hilda came to visit me herself and brought to the rest, a card from me to express my thanks for their gift of flowers and well-wishes.

These ladies are very special to me eventhough I left the workforce over 8 years now. It goes to show that genuine friendships are lasting. Except for Hilda and Janice (two on the right), the rest like Evelyn, Florence, Selena and Seow Peng are much younger. I enjoyed working with them tremendously, we were together for many years in Finance and Control except the last two years when I moved to Regional Compliance, there I worked with HQ and country people from Asia Pacific. That was also very interesting in that I got to meet and work with other nationalities. I have always enjoyed my work life.

Though I did not stay through the lunch (I had infusion in the morning), I was very glad to hear that all are well despite still undergoing the merger process. I was even more delighted to hear Janice encouraging two ladies to attend Workplace Alpha. What a beautiful change in J, praise the LORD!

Tired and Weary

For some weeks now, I was a little tired and weary in mind and in body, therefore I did not post anything. But I know you understand. As I look into the New Year 2009, it's so uncertain and I really cannot see beyond the present. Though I am not really good at making resolutions, in the last few years (before I became ill) I do make a point to reflect on what I plan to do with my time and be actively engaged so that the days and time do not drift by aimlessly. The Bible tells us to seek the LORD who will "Teach us to number our days aright that we may return a heart of wisdom." But this year I could not get myself going ... though I am so much better than last year. In some way I was rather disappointed with myself. Sometimes I blame my mental condition on the drugs I take (ha ha). In times like this, one can only look to the Bible for strengthening - yes, even the young grow weary but GOD will give us the strength to go on - He will not grow tired or weary - He is the Almighty Creator of the ends of the earth - He understands our frame - His understanding no one can fathom. Jesus promises to those who are weary, to come to Him and He will give rest.

I am continuing onto cycle 3 of Velcade(Mondays and Thursdays), Zometa(once in 3 weeks) and Revlimid (alternate days). I am very thankful that the side effects are not bad as in 2007, except for bloatedness (my clothing have changed to baggy ones), water retention and some numbness. Sadly my veins are not cooperating, sometimes it is difficult to locate a good one for infusion resulting in a few unsuccessful jabs (ouch and double ouch). Any suggestion on how to have good strong veins?? I squeeze hand-size rubber ball.
Please pray that I can achieve some stability and be at a level where my condition can be kept at maintenance dose. Thanks, I know many of you are upholding me in prayers.

Isaiah 40:28Do you not know? Have you not heard? The LORD is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom.
Isaiah 40:29He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak.
Isaiah 40:30Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall;
Isaiah 40:31but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.
Matthew 11:28"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.

A knitting bag, a devotional classic

I spent considerable hours to make little gifts to express my thanks to the many friends not because it is the season for giving but rather it is an expression of deep gratitude. I did not spent much time going out to the shops because that would have been too exhausting, so they were really "little" tokens of my affection.

I have also received some very wonderful and thoughtful gifts - a knitting bag, which I immediately used to put some yarns and knitting needles and now I carry it everywhere I go. A devotional classic - this friend knows the kind of books I enjoy reading the writings of these men such as Jonathan Edwards and D. Bonhoeffer - somehow the mind and intellect click together when one share similar interests and inclinations. A 3-D photo frame with photos of our trip to Hokkaido. This is very memorable and I can see the love that goes into putting it together.

Hallelujah

Paul 's contribution to this last posting for the year 2008..."Hallelujah". He said this should be the title for the 31st December 2008 post. Yes, indeed we Praise the LORD for 2008. Our hearts are filled with thanksgiving for the way He has brought us through the year. It is the amazing grace of GOD that we are able to rise above our circumstances and we are strengthened to overcome the challenges we faced through the year. On the whole, we must say that I have been well most of the time and have been able to do normal activities beside going to the doctor's clinic.

We managed to do a number of maintenance works on the house like internal painting, polish the marble floor, replaced a bathroom window and reupholstered all the sofas (about 9 years old). I was reasonably energised to see all these works that were needed to be done. In between all these, Paul and I "escaped" to visit my sister in Holland and made trips with Gerald and Russ, with our dear friends, Michael and Winnie. As we looked back on 2008 we are filled with gratitude for GOD's love and the love of our families and friends. "Noone has ever seen GOD; but if we love one another, GOD lives in us and His love is made complete in us." 1 John 4:12 We have experienced His love in a very personal way.

Years of friendship

Christmas time is a special occassion to spend time with friends especially those from overseas. A number of our friends from Perth return at Christmas time to be with families and friends. Some of us have known each other for 15 to 20 years now and through the Family Life Ministry at BKC we have strengthened our ties of friendship. Year after year we meet to celebrate this bond of love in the name of Jesus Christ. (A photo of us and a photo of all our grown-up children). It is our prayer that our children will continue to be closely bonded; encourage and support each other in their walk with GOD.

Christmas Greetings

Christmas has always been a special time for us and this year especially, we approach it with gratitude and joy in our hearts. We are grateful to GOD for the new lease of life He has given Li Leng. With God’s strength, we were able to travel overseas on 3 separate occasions. This photo for our greeting card was taken during one of these trips at the end of Spring in a lovely part of Provence in France. We are joyful because we have tasted anew the goodness of GOD in Jesus Christ. Indeed, we can say that we look to Jesus as our true Ebenezer (1Sam 7:12), our ever present help in life. We are thankful for all your thoughts and prayers as well as your hand of friendship through this time. Our prayer for you is to know the full extent of the love of Jesus Christ this Christmas and to experience the peace that transcends human understanding. (Phil 4:7) May GOD bless you and your family.

Puzzled

We received news on 18th December that the M-band has gone up to 10 from 5 a month ago. Our expectations were for this marker to go down since the reading was taken after a complete cycle of Velcade which is considered a miracle drug for the treatment of Multiple Myeloma. This is bad news and even the doctor is puzzled.

However, GOD knew and He prepared us for it. That very morning, we read Psalm 112 following the schedule of Our Daily Bread. For those who are also following this, Ps 112 was meant for Tuesday 16th Dec. I had mistakenly read the passage meant for 18th on the 16th and therefore was going back on the 18th to read that which was meant for the 16th. Hence, Ps 112. As we read it, we were conscious that we are reminded to be steadfast in trusting the LORD and we should not be afraid of bad news. Those who trust the LORD completely can never be shaken - v6 and 7. If you believe you are in the hands of our loving and mighty GOD, nothing can be more secure, no matter what happens. We are just overwhelmed that GOD loves us so much that He would assure us in this way. In trusting GOD, we are set free from the prison of the cancer marker. We are free to appreciate GOD for all that He has done for us. Indeed, there is much to be thankful for.

The dreaded side effects of Velcade Li Leng experienced last year did not present itself. Sure, she experienced some tiredness and aches but this was tolerable and we could still fellowship with our church family and friends. We could prepare and look forward to Christmas and the Watchnight services and the gathering of friends. Thank you, LORD.

Today, Li Leng received the eight shot thus completing the second Velcade cycle. Thank you for all your prayers as the locating of veins to put the infusion in was getting tricky (and painful). Last week, the Revlimid dosage was also increased and thus far she is tolerating this as well. Thank you, LORD. Now, we look forward to a 10 day rest period from injections and will go back on 2nd Jan 2009 for blood tests followed by a review on the 5th Jan.

Please join us in praising GOD for His help, His provision of daily strength and the experience of His love and comfort. We are also privileged to be able to pray for some of our friends who are journeying through their own valleys. You have encouraged us. Please pray for victory in this battle. Malachi tells us in 4:2 that “for you who fear My name, the sun of righteousness will rise with healing in its wings and you will go forth and skip like calves set free from the stall.” Though this refers to the coming millennial kingdom, the truth is that Jesus saves and Jesus heals. True healing is from GOD.

Paul.

BMD and Velcade

It is really a wonderful surprise that the BMD Bone Mineral Density result is good. It has improved. Dexa is expected to cause some deterioration but we are very thankful to the LORD that it was not so. Therefore there are many occassions of good news.

I have started on Velcade since last Thursday. May experience periphereal neuropathy (some sensation of that, pray that it will not be severe to affect the treatment cycle). Dr. Teoh is recommending 2 cycles of 4 injections each, which should end around December. I am keeping away from crowds to avoid infections. We continue to trust the LORD to give strength to receive the treatment. Thanks for your continuing prayers.

21st

Such a special day. Our youngest child has officially become an adult! Such joy in our hearts. I am very, very thankful to the LORD for our three lovely children....not children anymore...they are all adults now! Praise the LORD, Paul and I are blessed!

It was not easy to plan a surprise party... all kind of stories had to be made up and we finally got Russ to the Clubhouse of the Seaview (Melissa and Andy is living there). With mostly his friends from the Young Adults Group, we had a nice little buffet spread. The photo tells all.

Look at me, I am quite OK (after my last scare). And...good news...the M Band has come down to 5. Praise the LORD. We will be going back to the doctor and see what's next....

The Dreadful Day

Firstly before I recount The Dreadful Day, I must express my gratitude and thanks to the LORD and all my friends, I completed the 6 weeks of Dexa. I must say, on the whole it was smooth going - Dexa gave me some very good days and I maximised on some of them. But Dexa really has the problem of making me susceptible to infections. I caught one in the beginning and one at the end! Now we have to wait and see if it did a good job in bringing down the M band?

The Dreadful Day started with me getting a cough on Friday and over the weekend I had rather high fever, it went on for 5 days. The bloodtest on Monday showed readings of a low immunity, several numbers went into the red. On The Dreadful Day (Wednesday), I had to do a Bone Density test, we went at 9.15am and waited and a hour later was told that an in-patient had to be seen first, another hour went, another patient slipped in, waited... and then was told the machine malfunctioned. Ok..there goes the whole morning.

We went up to Dr. G Teoh's clinic for my regular Zometa infusion and because of the low immunity reading and a fever I could not shake, he decided to add 2 bottles of immunoglobulin. The Zometa went in, no problem, the IvIg was supposed to be an hour each but was shortened to half an hour. During that time we were watching Barrack Obama on CNN (5th Nov). When the second bottle was down to a quarter, I started to feel cold, the coldness from from legs spread to my whole body and I started to shake badly. The nurses came in when they saw that I couldn't control my shaking, it wasn't the cold, I was reacting to the infusion. It was stopped immediately, the doctor was called (he had gone to day ward to attend to a patient). They kept telling me to breathe slowly... my pulse was racing...they could not get my BP measured on my arm and had to take it from my leg. Soon the doctor arrived and administered intravenous steroid and something else. He managed to help me recover and then put me into the ward to monitor before I was discharged in the evening.

What a horrendous experience! For a split second when I was in "a rigor", I thought I could be going..... I guess these are the concomitant "dangers" of infusions, transfusions, anesthesia, etc. and it happened to me. Dr. Teoh was actually attending to a patient with similar response to IvIg infusion just before me. (it could be a batch problem...whatever it was, it hit me!)

While I was prone, in shock with nurses around me...Paul was so lost and didn't know what to do except sent out SOS to our prayer intercessors. It was our lifeline. We thank you for your prayers...some of you just stopped what you were doing and went on your knees, dashed out of the shop and went home to pray, immediately called another friend to pray on the phone together. The LORD is merciful and He heard your prayers. Thank you, my friends.

I am now much better. My energy level is a bit low. Fever is gone but the cough is lingering... please pray for it to clear completely.

Picnic at Labrador Park

I just love picnics.

Let me tell you how this came by. Last week's Monday morning, I woke rather early and sat by the long sofa in the family room to knit. In the quietness of the early hours, my mind thought that there is some public holiday coming up and hmm... isn't is nice to go on a picnic? Yes, it would be and I left it at that. Do you know what.....2 hours later in the same morning, I received a forwarded sms to say that SR is organising a picnic on 27th Deepavali. Wow, what a lovely surprise! You see, there are some people around who are very thoughtful and kind; and love to do things to cheer others. And our LORD knows the little desires of our hearts. Praise Him! Praise Him!

On Deepavali, we drove to Labrador Park at 9am. We sat in a lovely and cool gazebo next to the waters. There were 15 of us and 2 more came along at noon. S brought bee hoon, Ir cooked a pot of curry, F had steamed some buttered sweet corn, G brought some bread to make sandwiches, I had brought "not oily" fried chicken and SC had some really big, crunchy green grapes and strawberry, and others brought tib-bits. What a fantastic spread. I had such an excellent appetite, I ate so much.

We had time to chat and catch up with one another. Of course SC, J and I had our personal time to speak encouragements to one another; at least 2 of us are still going through our treatments. (You can see SC has a cast on her left arm, caused by a fall - the doctor is recommending she stops chemo treatment for 4 weeks to allow healing to take place. Let's pray for the bone to heal.)

And of course, Snookie comes along with us to all picnics.

As we love to sing, we did enjoy bursting forth in songs ... some one noted that a man fishing nearby had moved further away from us, oh dear, our rather loud singing could have kept the fish away! Before our sing-along, we did a one page brain-teaser with compliments of SR. I think it was good to check if our brains are still in tip-top condition... haha...it was fun.

The hours passed by nicely in the company of good friends. We thank GOD for friends!

We left around 1pm, it was getting a bit hot and humid.

Sergio Mendes and a wedding

This week has been quiet and yet included some interesting diversions. One of the night, I could not sleep despite having taken a couple of sleep aid and that meant the day went by in a daze but I caught up this lack of sleep later on in the week.

Another night, we were invited to listen to Sergio Mendes, a Brazilian Jazz group. It was quite interesting, our first introduction to Brazilian Jazz. The 1.5 hour performance went by quite quickly. After that we went to "Ah Teng" at Raffles for a light supper of a plate Hor Fun and teh tarik for Paul and a pot of tou huey jiu for me. We were pleasantly surprised when our tab was picked by Paul's business acquaintance who also went and came from Sergio Mendes. How kind and generous.

At the weekend, we attended the wedding dinner of a very long time business associate of Paul. It was an occasion where many old colleagues were present and it was a good time to catch up. CP came by to encourage me and I am so glad to hear of an opportunity she seized to pray for a friend down with osteo-sarcoma. We must take every opportunity the LORD put along our way to boldly speak of life and hope especially to those who need to know their Creator.

What a lovely week has passed. I am now into my last week of Dexa. By GOD's grace we will trust Him to keep strengthening me.

A little cross

I am down to 2 more weeks of Dexa, this week and next. And I am doing well with very minor effects. Eating well, sleeping well... your prayers are upholding me...thank you. The LORD is strengthening me day by day.

I have been wearing this lovely little multi-coloured cross on my neck since I received it from one of the children at the last church camp in June. The children put the beads together and string them into necklaces, bracelets and mobile hangers. Every camper received something from the children.

At last FLM meeting, our guest speaker shared that sometimes as tourists we buy ornnaments or trinklets from neighbouring countries steeped in other religions; it is not wise to be wearing or carrying them.

My thoughts go back to this little cross that was made by the hands of our children, I just feel very blessed to wear it, knowing that our children have put their heart into making it and surely their handiwork will bring blessings to whom they have given. Theirs are the hands and fingers to whom the kingdom of heaven belongs. Jesus loves the little children very much, in Matthew 19:14 He said, "Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these."

For those of you whose ministries and daily work are with children, know that this is a beautiful, heart-satisfying and GOD-honoring work. Let me encourage you to keep serving and blessing the children for this is a work that will please the LORD. Let us tenderly nurture and grow these little ones; bringing them up in godliness and righteousness.

Be Sensible

I have been learning much from my weekly Bible Study with HLC and some ladies; and I must share what I learned. There are some lessons that must be shared because they are so sensible for practical daily living and living wisely. It is good enough to write out the main pointers and just reflect on them. We sometimes do act and behave hastily without giving much thoughts and consideration for others. We can learn to behave less foolishly and live wisely.

Foolishness is:

• inability to appreciate and recognise wisdom
• taking a slack attitude towards sin and evil
• putting our trust in authorities and structure
• not applying wisdom for everyday living
• speaking self destructively
• living undisciplined life

Read Ecclesiastes 10

When do we struggle to exercise good judgment?

• when we speak hastily when instead should be silent
• when we do things in a hurry
• when we are in stress
• when we are hurt
• when we are out of touch with GOD and in sin
• when we have wrong companions
• when we have a set or pre-conceived mind
• when we are alone and no wise counsel is available

The results -

• we are ungracious
• we are unkind
• we are hurtful
• we disdain others
• we insult
• we are self-indulgent
• we think ourselves better than others
• we lack self-control
• we look at self-interest, own agenda
• we are critical, judgmental

A foolish lifestyle is one which has no self control, no regards for others, destructive in words and actions, undisciplined, dependent on money rather than on GOD and do not take a serious view of sin. A daily inclination of the heart towards sin will produce a lifestyle of foolishness. It all starts with the heart and from it the mouth will speak, it cannot be capped, the evil and sinfulness will ultimately spill out of the mouth. Therefore we need to guard heart, purify and circumcise it with the word of GOD.

Matthew 12:34,35 "For out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks. The good man brings out good things out of the good stored in him, and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in him."

Proverbs 4:23 " Above all else , guard your heart, for it is the well-spring of life"

A Rhema Moment

Last week went well and this week the start of my 4th week (will have 2 more weeks of Dexa). For 3 days (Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday) I felt good, no aches except sleeplessness but sleep was aided. From Thursday till the weekend, I start to get fatigued which I handled by staying quiet, sit and rest with my knitting. So overall it has been great!

So Tuesday, a Dexa-charged day, I was able to go out for lunch with my friends. We went out to give a little cheer to LY, whose loyal and faithful pooch went to sleep, very sad for her.
I was so energetic, that they (GSK, LY, B) said I was "perky" not "pesky". What they really mean is that "You're alive and kicking...Praise GOD!" I excitedly shared my joy of Psalm 118:19 and so happy to see the word of GOD affirming me. GSK said that it was a "Rhema" moment - the word of GOD came alive to me. How wonderful that the living word of GOD is real and not some archaic literature or religious teachings! Amen

A Common Destiny for All

Ecclesiastes 9 tells us that we have a common destiny. We have different life's journeys, we walk different paths but we will share a common destiny. No man knows, the righteous and the wicked, the good and the bad, as it is with the good man so with the sinner, the same destiny overtakes all. No man knows when his hour will come.
"As fish are caught in a cruel net,
or birds are taken in a snare,
so men are trapped by evil times
that fall unexpectedly upon them." Ecc 9:12

Death will meet every single one of us at the end of our life's journeys. And no one will know when that will be. Death is a certainty. But death is the beginning of eternity for those who believes in GOD and confessed Jesus as Savior. "Death is the gateway to glory" (HLC).
All journeys will have its share of joys and sorrows, happiness and sadness, some more of one and some less of the other, who are we to demand otherwise. We cannot choose the circumstances that come our ways - the cards we are dealt. Matthew 5:45 tells us about GOD, the Almighty - "He causes the sun to rise on the evil and the good and sends rain on the righteous and the righteous" GOD is not unfair, Christians are not immune to hardships and tribulations. Tribulations are not reserved for those who do not know GOD. Yet life is full of enigmas and we see injustices and calamities all around us and we look to GOD for answers. But GOD's ways are unfathomable, that is why He is GOD and we are His created. "We have to live with the fact of GOD's divine mysteries."
But as Christians, we can pray and beseech GOD's grace and mercy to intervene and change our circumstances or help us to be strong and face life's challenges.

Here is what was reminded at our last bible study session - "In the times of perplexities and struggles, we need to find the unshakeable truth to anchor."
Who is your anchor? Will your anchor be able to see you through your perplexities? Will you still have peace in your heart, joy on your face, laughter on your lips? Do you know your future? Can you face your future especially when it seems so dark and threatening? Is there hope?

I only can tell you that I have peace, I have joy, I have hope. I can live my present because I have GOD and I have an eternal future, it is guaranteed by the blood of Jesus Christ shed on the cross for the sins of mankind. My dear friends those who do not know GOD and Jesus Christ, if there comes a time when you seek answers for peace, joy and hope; call on the name of Jesus and confess Him as Savior, you will be able to live with the present and have an eternal future. "Everyone who calls on the name of the LORD Jesus will be saved." Romans 10:13

This is a beautiful hymn.

Hymn - Will Your Anchor Hold in Storms of Life

Will your anchor hold in the storms of life,
When the clouds unfold their wings of strife?
When the strong tides lift, and the cables strain,
Will your anchor drift or firm remain?

We have an anchor that keeps the soul
Stedfast and sure while the billows roll,
Fastened to the Rock which cannot move,
Grounded firm and deep in the Savior's love.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sd0ndQJEdpg


Ironies of life:
"The race is not to the swift or the battle to the strong,
nor does good come to the wise or wealth to the brilliant
or favour to the learned;
but time and chance happen to them all." Eccl 9:11

"Fools are put in many high positions,
while the rich occupy the low ones (sits in humble places)." Eccl 10:6

Knitting - a wonderful pasttime

I have been knitting scarves and shawls; and now I am progressing to sweater. I just completed one and sewing the sides for another. Knitting is an excellent pastime for me, I get to produce something (I am a person who needs to do something and it must have an outcome), this makes me happy, make others happy when I give away what I knit, I get good rest for my body when it gets fatigued and good dexterity exercise for my fingers, my brain gets to think about counting the stitches, I pray as I knit and remember people who needs GOD's grace, mercy and strength. Really happy with how I am spending my time especially these couple weeks when I am on the Dexa treatment, I should be staying home more... all the way till end of October.

I am very glad and happy that my sister, Lilian taught me how to knit. Thank you, sis.

Rejoicing And Praising Ps.118:19

Rejoicing and praising the LORD with all my heart!

I wrote in my blog of 18th Sept. that despite M Band being at 10.4 (climbed steadily from 3.5 in last December 2007), I am not discouraged, the LORD is with me all the way and He knows what is ahead of me. I set my mind and choose instead to enter the gates of righteousness and give thanks to the LORD. Psalm 118:19

Indeed the LORD has been good and wonderfully gracious! The course of treatment with Dexa for 2 weeks brought down the M band to 7.3. Praise Him! Praise Him! My heart is so full of thanksgiving and I again wrote in my blog October 4th - yes, I shall again enter the gates of righteousness and give thanks to the LORD.

Do you know that on October 5th - the ODB (Our Daily Bread) Scripture reading for the day was on Psalm 118! Isn't this marvellous. My reflection for the past two weeks has been on thankfulness and again this verse in Psalm 118:19 keeps coming up. It affirms in my mind that we must always have an attitude of thankfulness regardless of our circumstances. GOD is gracious, he will give us occasions to be happy and joyful. There is always something to be thankful for. Amen!

more Dexa

Just came back from clinic. Yes, the dexa has done good for me. I will continue with another cycle of Dexa. One cycle is 3 weeks and I will go for two cycles. I have already done 2 weeks, this means 4 more weeks of Dexa of 3 days each, combined with 2 days of Revlimid and Zometa infusion at 3 weeks interval. I think it is manageable, by GOD's grace.

Increase doses of Dexa may have toxic effects such as elevated blood sugar (to manage, means lesser carbo and sugar, no char kway teow, yummy pastries etc...), low calcium (weakens bones), low potassium (causing muscular aches, I have been feeling some of it), ocular problems (high pressure in eyes, I use eyedrops for this), mood swings (means you all have to be more forgiving), and of course low WBC (prone to infection... I will stay away from crowded places). So it is all very manageable. We trust the LORD to use these medications to control the myeloma. This a far kinder treatment than other alternatives. I am so thankful that this combination is working for me at this time. I seek your continual prayers against infection and toxic effects of the various drugs for the next 4 weeks. Thank you, my friends.

Good News

Good news - M band came down from 10.4 to 7.3! This is really wonderful, thank GOD. The 2 pulses of Dexa did work. I am just so happy and I know you are all very happy and glad for me. Paul received news of it yesterday and we will go in to see the doctor on Monday to discuss the next treatment cycle, probably with more dexa? Thank you so much for your prayers. Open for me the gates of righteousness; I will enter and give thanks to the LORD. Give thanks to the LORD for He is good; His love endures forever.

One Year Later

Last year this time I posted in my blog, a day out on the beach with a couple. This couple spent their wedding anniversary day, bringing me (and Paul) for a picnic at the Changi Beach. They prepared food and drinks and brought along beach chairs and mat. Then, I was in my wheelchair. It was one of my earliest outings. I was still weak and not steady on my feet, needing the wheelchair whenever I go out. I could eat very little and could not taste much.

A year has now past. We meet again and this time we celebrated their wedding anniversary in a very nice Chinese restaurant. We shared a lovely dinner together with much joy in our hearts. This time I ate as heartily as everyone; finished and "tasted" every morsel of food. Deep down we are truly thankful to the LORD for restoring me to reasonable good health and our friendship has grown. It is so very wonderful to have many friends who are willing to walk my journey alongside with me, sharing my ups and downs.

My sincere prayers for our LORD's blessings on this couple, their marriage and their love for one another; and together they will fervently serve the LORD with all their hearts; their children and children's children will be blessed by their faithfulness. Psalm 103:17,18

Loyal and Faithful Helpers

We are very thankful for the provision of two loyal and faithful helpers in our household. Lorena worked for us close to 10 years and Tutik, 6.5 years. Lorena left us on Friday 26th September to return to Philippines. Lorena is responsible, hardworking and diligent throughout all these years. She is very capable in preparing meals and taken much initiative to cook interesting and new dishes. We are sad to see her go. During the time when I had to depend on Tutik to attend to my personal health needs, Lorena managed to handle all the household work on her own. We now have a new helper, her name is Maryatun.

Dexa 20mg Superwoman

It is true. When I was on Dexa last week and this week, I really felt like Superwoman. I took Dexa for 3 days in a week cycle for two weeks. From the first day I was full of energy and clear-minded. I had a "full" day started in the morning to read and write a short article and continued reading till afternoon. Rested at 4pm and could attentively listened to a 45min preaching on CD. Wow, that is a good day for me. I could concentrate on what I want to do. The next day I was still going strong and went for lunch with my friends. Unlike other times, I usually leave to return home earlier around 2pm, but this time I was holding up very well and stayed on to chat till 4.30pm. What a long and fruitful day.

We had very good conversations. With these friends I can openly share my deepest feelings, doubts and concerns. We talked about being willing to step out of our "comfort zone", GOD puts "stops" in our lives and His "stops" are just as important as His "gos", how well should we end in our life journeys, the dangers of complacency, being intentional and purposeful with our times rather than being "accidental heroes" in GOD's kingdom. Serious talks! Dexa got me all charged up and energized!

But Dexa also has its negatives - sleeplessness - I had to take some sleep aid to get rest in the nights. The combination of Dexa and Revlimid resulted in low WBC and I caught a dreadful infection the next couple of days. It was rather scary. But antibiotic, Ciprobay immediately controlled the infection and I was back on my feet. I did feel rather faitgued by the episode but thankful that I recovered. So the next cycle will see me having highs and lows. That is the effect of Dexa on me. Though I think I am reacting far better now than the first time I took Dexa in May last year.
We will see if these two doses of Dexa has helped with the M band when I go in for test on Monday. :-)

Be strong and courageous

This is not going to be easy...to have to tell you that the M-band has gone up. It went to 9.5 and a re-test a week later showed it at 10.4. Sad. But then all the other readings are good! Immunity readings are normal, bone healing is present. Dr.Teoh is not recommending that I start on Velcade until he is convinced that there are other indicators to show that the disease is progressing. For now, I have to go back to oral Dexa for 3 days in a week and after 2 weeks, I will go for blood test. For the coming 2 weeks the plan is Zometa (already infused yesterday), twice weekly Revlimid and three times Dexa. I think I can manage this, by GOD's grace. And we will pray and beseech Him to restore and strengthen me and reduce the tumour burden and that I do not experience any bone event before the next medical.

End of September I will do bloodtest and early October, if needed (if M band is still high), go for MRI, bone marrow aspirations on both hips. Dr Teoh is very careful and does not want to start Velcade unless he is absolutely sure the treatment is needed - concern that the effect may cause the good immunity readings to reverse. Physically I am "looking" good, my backaches are not that severe. But then again I am surely afraid for the body to feel the pain before medical treatment is started to control and prevent bone events.

We will trust the LORD and seek His wisdom to commence treatment at the right time. May His favour be upon us, His righteous right hand to uphold us.
Dear friends and loved ones, I am not discouraged. GOD is sovereign, He will give me the grace to go on and face what is ahead of me. Be strong and courageous with me. There is much to be cheerful about.

"Open for me the gates of righteousness; I will enter and give thanks to the Lord." - Psalm 118:19

Med update

Yes, I am thankful! The M-band is down to 7.8 (from 8.57). The IGA, IGG, IGM are all within normal range, that is really wonderful! The 3 weekly Zometa infusions must have helped. WBC is slightly below normal (because of Revlimid) which makes me susceptible to infection which Dr. Teoh says MM patients should try to avoid. Still have occasional aches but really it is bearable.
Dr. Teoh may postpone the Velcade cycle till after the next blood test in mid September...this is really good news. We truly give thanks to the LORD that I am quite stable.

reflections on Ecclesiastes

Lately, I have been waking up each morning, feeling glad and thankful for the wonderful and restful sleep that I have been getting. It used to be that when I woke, I felt tightness/pain in my body, at the back and ribs etc. But now I don't. I really get to sleep and I wake up knowing that I had slept through the whole night without any interruption. Isn't this fantastic! I am so appreciative of the good sleep.
Book of Ecclesiastes teaches us that there is a time for everything and a season for every activity under heaven...a time to weep and a time to laugh...a time to be borne and a time to die. We will each go through different phases of life and its various seasons. I had my share of sleepless nights (remember?) and even needed help with sleep aid for awhile and that time is now past and I am now in the season of enjoying good and blessed sleep! While I am enjoying this time of strength and energy of each day from the LORD, I don't need to think about the next season nor be fearful of what is ahead. Just be thankful now! place my trust and hope in our gracious and loving GOD. He is just. He is sovereign. He is eternal - not easy to understand - but our eternity is in His hand. Death is not an end, it is the start to an eternal future.
So whatever season we are in, those difficult trials, they will come to an end. In GOD's perfect timing we will experience good and the bad will end in due course. (to my fellow cancer friends who still cannot taste food and can't eat well, be hopeful that it will come to an end... wait patiently for the LORD to restore your tastebuds).
For those of us who have been enjoying His goodness, don't be surprised when difficulties come our way and don't reject it (we can't anyway... so...the question is ...how should we respond?). "When times are good, be happy; but when times are bad, consider; GOD has made one as well as the other." (Eccl 7:14) Pleasures and enjoyment will come and go, trials and sufferings are also not forever.
I have this challenging question to answer - What difference would it make if you lived as if every person and every circumstance that came your way was a "divine appointment"? Let's reflect....

Blood test

I had blood test done today and will patiently wait for the result - next week and will continue to trust the LORD to strengthen me to fight this cancer! So far I am getting stronger day by day. Thank you for your kind prayers and concern over all these months.
(Durian may make the blood flow too well, couple of weeks ago, after the withdrawal, it dripped over the floor...argh...so I think, must be careful not to eat too much durian before blood test...ha ha)

Katong Championship 2008

It was with deep gratitude in our hearts that Paul and I could be present at this year's BKC Katong Championship. Last year I was totally out of action and missed the event. This annual activity organised on National Day, is a marvellous way of getting our church members together to play and compete in games. There were about 150 members from both the English and Chinese congregations. All the teams enthusiatically participated in about 10 games. We had to "alliterate" our names as we introduced ourselves, though we already know one another quite well. In our team, Jacob, the wheelbarrow race was taken by "energetic" Eric and his daughter - "cheerful" Celine; "magnanimous" Melissa Loon handled the hula hoop, rolling it and expertly balancing it on her waist; our "sporty" Sarah skipped to the next station like a tornado and brought our team to the lead. Next, our strappy teenager "jubilant" James did the sack race. My dear "patient" Paul picked and held the marble with a spoon in his mouth and aimed it into a bucket - no problem. "Daring" or was it "dashing" David blew the ping pong across the water surface of 4 cups and handed the baton to our "angelic" Ang Woon Chuan who tossed and gathered five stones - it was a piece of cake for her, reliving this childhood pasttime. Following her, we had two sisters - "sweet" Siew Hoon and "alert" Angela, completed the hop scotch and chatek events - way ahead of the other teams and giving a good lead to our finalists - "robust" Russell and "caring" Chee Yong. They each had one leg tied together, racing towards the finishing line and limbo-rocked at the end. What a sight! Overall, Team Jacob ended up second with our brilliant flag design - see photo! (of course, lah, we had a creative genius in our midst).

It was a fantastic way of spending National Day together. Looking forward to 2009! Praise the LORD for giving us the physical strength and energy - to appreciate such simple joy and pleasure.

Nordic sticks

When I left my sister's place (holland), she insisted that I should try "nordic walking" and I should bring back her nordic sticks. With Lilian, you cannot say 'no' on such matters. She says 'eat', you have to eat; she says 'you must do such and such', just do, never argue, cannot win argument with her. Such is her sisterly concern and love. (Actually any form of walking is already good exercise, don't think you have to go and get some nordic sticks, my friends!)

So here is a photo of my nordic walking... with Snookie.
I think the sticks do help to exercise other muscle parts (arms)and make one walk a lot more upright and with good pace. Phew, at least I have got a photo to show. But I do need to be more disciplined and exercise more frequently.

50th and 70th

It is really quite unbelievable that I have two friends with exactly the same birth date in July(23rd)! One just turned 50 and the other turned 70. Both are very dear friends to me. Both are so alike in many ways - quiet, unassuming, sensible, tenderhearted and gentle. Through both of them I can learn much of being the kind of person that the Bible teaches us. I wrote a short one line in a card to my 50 year old friend [this describes you... the beauty of the inner self, the unfading beauty of a quiet and gentle spirit, this is of great worth in GOD's sight] and a much longer piece for my 70 year old friend. [see below] Like my younger friend (who doesn't look 50 but rather 35!!!!) we will need to work towards godliness and Christ-likeness. Thank GOD that He is patient with us and He will help to mould us to be the person He wants us to be. I will certainly reflect on this; and be reminded that I need to check on my progress. Thank GOD there is someone to model it for me.

this describes you.....

In quietness and trust is your strength; [Isaiah30:15]
Your beauty of the inner self, the unfading beauty of a quiet and gentle spirit, this is of great worth in GOD’s sight; [1Peter3:4]
You are like a fruitful vine within your home, in the house of GOD; [Psalm128:3]
You are a wife of noble character, a crown to your husband. [Proverb12:4]

You have clothe yourself with compassion, kindness, humility,
gentleness and patience; [Colossians3:12-17]
And over all these virtues, you have put on love
and bind us all together in perfect unity;
You allow the peace of GOD to rule in your heart and the word of Christ to dwell richly in you as you teach
and admonish us in all wisdom.
In everything you do, you give thanks to GOD our Father.
We praise Him. To GOD be the glory.

News

It has been awhile since I last update and I had hope to bring good news on my medical condition but it not that great AND also not that bad. The M-band is at 8.5, it has been hovering around 8 for the last 2 to 3 months. Dr. Teoh thinks that this is stable but he would like to get it down. The bone density showed improvement on the spine but the reading for the hip is not going the right direction. Dr. Teoh has prescribed zometa for 3 weeks, I have already received the second one today and next week, the third infusion. This should help to prevent bone loss. Weekly, the oral medication Revlimid should also help to control the myeloma. He has recommended going back to treatment with velcade for 2 cycles, probably in mid September after we get another blood test reading in August.

except for the above, I am actually feeling a lot better. I am eating well, able to taste all food. I am sleeping well. It used to be difficult sleeping on my sides...but now, no problem! Still some aches on my back but it is bearable; and some days, no aches at all! I am more energetic and able to stay up for more hours. Generally I have improved and many of you have seen how well I look. So I think I should be strong enough to go through the proposed treatment in September. Just am thankful that I am treatable! Praise the LORD for His provision of good medical care and attentiveness of Dr. Teoh. He has been trying his best to provide the right treatment.

"The LORD is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in Him, and I am helped. My heart leaps for joy and I will give thanks to Him in song." Psalm 28:7

Gladness and Joy

It was with much gladness and joy in my heart as I attended the first group bible study after almost one and half year out of action. I am so thankful to be welcomed into a gathering of ladies who love to study the word of GOD. When I was "out of action" it seemed that time passes so slowly and I cannot imagine when I could become better. Look at me now, I am really up and about. This is truly restoration from the gracious hand of our LORD. How to explain such joy? Such is this experience, for a period of time however long or short, when something is taken away from you, it becomes more precious and more meaningful when you get it back again.
Like a man who lost his leg and cannot walk, but when he gets fitted an artificial limb and is able to walk again, he is immensely joyful. One may look at him pitifully but he thinks otherwise, "once I cannot walk but now I can" See how different joy can be.

What did I learn?
The cross was GOD's greatest triumph but is perceived by the disciples as the greatest defeat.
How well do we understand the crucifixion and the resurrection? Are these just facts?
The disciples were taught these facts by Jesus Himself, yet when the time came, none of them believe the resurrection, the empty tomb did not mean a thing to them. Jesus had to teach them all over again what the Scriptures said. He had to show Himself to them and for a period of 40 days gave many convincing proofs that He was alive. And even after He leaves, He promises the Holy Spirit. "But the Counselor, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you all things and will remind you of everything I have said to you." (Jn14:26)
We too have read, been taught much facts from the Scriptures, do we believe the facts. Only the LORD knows what is needed for each of us to believe and experience Him in a real way.

I have, in a small way, experienced first hand the grace of GOD, the provision of strength day by day, and that He is the Giver of life. Thankfully the Holy Spirit will continue to teach us many things and increase our belief.

the Last Lecture

The last couple of nights have not been easy, our sleep pattern has been affected by the time difference since coming back. I woke one early morning, turned on the TV at 5 am and, like it or not, Oprah W's featured on Death. She had invited Randy Pausch to share his views on Death and the already well-viewed Last Lecture given at Carnegie Mellon U last year. I got Paul out of bed too and we both saw the program. Paul had listened to the Last Lecture when it was first out on Youtube....I didn't know about it. Today, I went to Youtube to hear the entire lecture. Very inspiring. Randy has terminal pancreatic cancer and was given 3 to 6 months. At the end of the lecture, he said "this is not for you, it is really for my three children". It is possibly the only way he could share his lifestory, his beliefs with them.

He talked about achieving childhood dreams, facing the walls of difficulties, the rejections, believe in people (there is goodness in people if you wait long enough), work hard (luck is when hard work meet opportunities) etc.

Worth the time of 1+hour ... go and listen

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ji5_MqicxSo

Heart of Compassion

Wing Kyi, a small girl of 5, shyly asked me when I was standing close by to her and her mother - "How are you, Aunty Li Leng?" I answered her - "I am much better" and her reply was - "I have been praying for you." So heart-warming! This was at the church camp in Sofitel, Johore.

At such a young age, this child has learned to be compassionate and tender in her heart towards others. It is really gratifying to see the children from our Kindergarten Sunday School living out what have been taught to them. The theme for the camp was "Growing in Christ-likeness" from the book of Colossians and our speaker was our missionary Jim Chew from NZ. In the children's program, the focus is on the fruit of the spirit.

The lessons were
- to understand the basics for Christ-likeness
- to build the foundations for growing in Christ-likeness
- to learn the marks of maturity
- to make steps to maturity

Back to Wing Kyi, her little heart is being moulded to love GOD and love people. May the LORD grow her to be more and more Christ-like.

Silence of GOD

Saturday 5th at FLM we had David Ong to share with us his journey of the last 4 years. David was diagnosed with multiple myeloma at the last Olympics in September 2004 and said that as this year's Olympics approaches he has much to be thankful. David was very athletic and physically robust. This illness has taken a toll on him. But he is alive and he is thankful to the LORD for preserving his life. David has a young son, Joshua and he is only 8.

David did not talk much about his sufferings but I know he suffered much and he is still suffering - from GVHD - graft versus host (ulcers in his mouth) ; now and then, sudden pain in his bones. He still has to go for regular checks , blood tests, xrays, MRI at the hospital. Despite all this, David is cheerful. The topic given to David is rather sobering - a question that many ask in times of sufferings. Why is GOD silent? Is He not hearing my prayers?

As David shared, I am reminded that at the end of the day it is all about our faith and GOD's sovereignity. David summarised his own reponse to his journey of faith with 4 Ps.
Pour out: He learns to pour out his grief and sorrows and complaints to GOD
Ponder: He learns to ponder and reflect on GOD's promises
Praise: He learns to praise GOD for all circumstances, especially the goodness he experienced
Proclaim: He learns to proclaim Christ to all he meets

We all need to be thankful - those of us who are healthy and well - even for those of us who are experiencing troubles, you always know that there are others in much worst situation. Think about it, as long as GOD gives us breath, we can give thanks to Him.

Memories from Past

After a 4-hour train ride from Paris into Amsterdam we took the car and drove 2 more hours to Hengelo, west part of Netherlands. It was a rather humorous entry to Amsterdam, we were to alight at Schiphol but an oversight on our part caused us to ride on to Central Station Amsterdam. This resulted in us having to hop onto another train to retrack back to Schiphol, that little adventure meant a further 1 hour in Amsterdam and of course the inconvenience of lugging our bags on and off the trains.A lesson to learn - the trains in Europe are very prompt and on schedule and the stops at each stations are brief so you've got to be fast with the luggages.

We reached Lilian and Benno's place at 8 in the evening, as we approached the house we could see Lilian waving to us from her living room window, she knew when to expect us inspite of the one hour detour. The last we visited was 1992. The house is still as warm and charming. A delightful change has been made to the back garden and the pond is much bigger with a little stream added. Ya, an extension was made to accomodate the grand piano for Denise, it was nicely done. Since young, Denise has been enthusiatic with the piano and entered many competitions, we thought she might become a concert pianist. A year ago she decided to focus on her university studies in physics as the time required from the conservatory clashed with her uni schedule.

This house in Hengelo holds many memories for me.
I came on my own several times when I worked with ABN Amro Bank and subsequently with the children when they were born. One year I was here to work for 3 months, I took both Melissa and Gerald along, they were 5 and 2, put them in the care of my mother at Lilian's home while I stayed in Amsterdam in the work week and came back to Hengelo for the weekend. Gerald said he recalled many fond memories from the past. During the couple days here, he asked Lilian for some of his favourite childhood food - vla (a thick milky dessert drink), stroepwaffel, chocolate hagelslag (sprinkle) on bread. We had herring with onion and fried fish from the open market .... yes it was like going back in time ... 16 years ago and not much has changed... except we are older and wiser? and the children are all grown up. Isn't that something to be thankful for...yes. GOD has given me many, many good and wonderful years.

As we sat in the garden, a favourite past time during summer for the Dutch and their visiting relatives ;-) we inevitably talked about the years gone by. Apparently Benno never fail to tell everyone who visits his garden about his Singaporean sister-in-law (moi) who gallantly walked into his (rather deep) pond to rescue her toddler son. Russell was around two and playing around the garden when he tipped into the pond. It was of course overhead for him and he (now 20) recalled he could see the fishes swimming around him. I thank GOD that I was there when Russ fell into the pond, fatal accidents of toddlers falling into ponds do happen. The Dutch are fond of having ponds in their gardens.

City of Light

I am glad that I have several hands to update the blog and this portion is written by Adele.

On Thursday afternoon, we procured a package that included a bus and boat tour of Paris. The bus tour was informative and the significance and history of the monuments and majestic buildings passing by us was relayed to us via our earphones plugged into a jack in the bus. We also went on a Batobus (a boat bus) which took us on a leisurely cruise along the river Seine. The sun was out and the view of Paris from the river made the experience nothing short of a romantic cruise down a bank full of culture, heritage and history. On these tours, we saw the Concorde, the Eiffel Tower, the Musee d’Orsay, the Louvre, the National Assembly… basically all the historic landmarks of Paris.

On Friday morning, we had breakfast at the highly recommended Bechu. The hot chocolate was the thickest and yummiest drink that we had tried. After that, we took the Metro to Anvers, where Montmarte is. When we arrived there, the number of steps leading to the Sacre-Coeur (Church of the Sacred Heart) looked daunting so we took the Funicaire (a glass car lift) up to the top where we were met with more stairs leading to the church. We sat on a bench for awhile before entering the church, soaking in the view of Paris from an altitude of about 100m, while a harpist busker entertained us with his magical music. Inside the Sacre-Coeur, a service was going on. All we can say about the inside of the church is that it is a cavernous mass of space with a ceiling so high. The Sacre-Coeur holds much significance because it is admired for its divine altitude (at 127m). Its architecture is beautiful, and the whole church, simply majestic. Pity photos weren’t allowed. Following this, we had lunch at Leon’s which is at Porte-Maillot (only 1 stop away from home – Argentine). We had 3 pots of Belgian mussels – tender and juicy, and also way too much. We realised that the serving portions in France are rather large for the Asians. After the yummy lunch we went home to rest. Gerald and I explored the area of Saint-Germaine des Pres. The artists we were in search of were surprisingly elusive, but we managed to bring back special treats from Pierre Hermes on Rue Bonaparte – home of the world’s best macaroons – indeed they lived up to their reputation.

We are also so thankful to the LORD for the food we are able to taste and enjoy. Here, in Paris, we have enjoyed traditional Corsican fare like ravioli that melts in your mouth and langoustines which were very sweet, plump and juicy. We also had creamy pate of duck liver which didn’t need the spices that came along with it. For our dinner on the second night, we had traditional French fare in a very quaint and old-world French restaurant established in 1900 – and today it still looks the same way it did over a hundred years ago! We had generous portions of duck with rockmelon, pork pate with crispy bread and scallop with mandarin orange as starters.

[Written on the TGV train from Paris to Avignon at over 300 kmph!]

In Paris

The LORD is so good and we are so thankful. Praise the LORD, O my soul and forget not all His benefits. Praise the LORD, all my inmost being. Who forgives all our sin. Who heals all our diseases. Who rescues our lives from the pit. Who crowns us with love and compassion. Who satisfies our desires with good things so that we are renewed like the eagles. Indeed, our hearts well up in gratitude to our GOD and His Son Jesus Christ.

Li Leng has been feeling well since our Church Camp and we decided to take the opportunity to arrange a trip to Europe before the European Summer vacation starts. By His providence, we have got into an apartment near the Arch De Triumph in Paris, 16th district. This was our home for 4 days before we took the TGV train to Avignon in Provence where we have the use of a house for a week. After this stay in France, we visit Li Leng’s sister Lilian and Benno in Hengelo, Netherlands. Gerald and Adele are accompanying us on this trip.

In Paris, we also met up with our brother Pe Soo and we had warm fellowship over a Parisien seafood dinner followed by fruits and dessert in our apartment. We think of all of you back home and remember to uphold some of you in prayer even when we are enjoying God’s grace and providence. Please uphold our brother Pe Soo and many others like him who are on the road every month and away from their families and loved ones. It is the LORD who can protect us and it is also He who gives us the ability to earn our living.

One highlight in Paris was the visit to the Louvre Museum. Masterpieces such as the Mona Lisa by Leornardo da Vinci are displayed there. You actually have to see the great masters work to appreciate it. The paintings are so magnificent that my words fail miserably to describe them. One thing that pervades through many of the works is the influence of Christianity over the centuries. Many of the works depict scenes from the ministry of Jesus Christ or the saints. One particular work that impressed me by its sheer size was the large painting of the wedding feast in Cana – it is c’est manifique. Yes – the redemptive work of our LORD must have inspired such works like Victor Hugo’s Les Miserables – now also made famous by the musical of the same name.