little encouragements and a huge "tent"

The past few days, I have received several little encouragements. Surely these are by GOD's grace. And why am I in need of encouragement? Well, the last lot of Vidaza jabs, have given me some discomfort (not really that bad but I could not get into my regular clothes - my pants tightens on the abdomen and I really could not stay in it for long. This time round, the first day's jabs took quite many days to subside, usually the swelling should ease off first... but the bumps were rather painful and worrisome...that I thought I may have to excise them! Phew, that would be unpleasant. But they have now reduced to pea-size - THANK GOD!

My distress came about when I had to go to church last Sunday in a "tent" which is my "baggiest of baggiest" long dress. I looked into my wardrobe and there was nothing to fit me except for this huge house-coat like dress - but it was presentable and most importantly, comfortable. Well, I am surely thankful that it was there for me. This piece has been with me for over 10 years, it is more like a casual resort type wear. There was another one which I had given away or packed up. So I was really glad it came in handy this time.

Now back to the little encouragements. I didn't take note of them until yesterday. And they were all there for me since Sunday and everyday after that - Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday!

Sometimes we are blessed with goodness from our LORD and we don't even notice.

On Sunday, at church, lkw started the worship service with reading from Psalm 33. My thoughts focused on verses 18-22.

"But the eyes of the LORD are on those who fear him, on those whose hope is in his unfailing love, to deliver them from death and keep them alive in famine. We wait in hope for the LORD; he is our help and our shield. In him our hearts rejoice, for we trust in his holy name. May your unfailing love rest upon us, O LORD, even as we put our hope in you."

This sharing blessed me in that reaffirmed my last post when I ended the blog with placing my hope in the LORD but I did not add a scriptural reference and this passage speaks fully of my hope and our hope. This is how our LORD watches over His children - v13-14"From heaven the LORD looks down and see mankind; from His dwelling place He watches all who live on earth - He forms the hearts of all, who considers everything they do." We may frequently forget how the LORD's eyes are on those who fear Him, but He is watching over all of us all the time and He considers what we do. Yes, v4 "For the word of the LORD is right and true; He is faithful in all He does." My heart is blessed by the reading of the word. GOD's word is life to us and it can lift our spirit to rejoice and glorify Him.

On Monday, through the post, I received a Thank You card. Just to know that a little something I did, can bless another person, is great encouragement. For a long time I have been a recipient of the generosity and kindness of many; I, on the other hand, has not been able to do much for anyone. Truly it is by GOD's grace if anyone of us can do good and be a blessing. Let all of us, who are able, be ceaselessly seeking to be channels of GOD's grace to others.

On Tuesday, at Biblestudy, I talked to the friend who "anonymously" gave me the book from AWTozer, I kind of knew she could be the one to give it to me. We were so happy talking about the deep insights of Tozer's writings. I wrote excerpts of my readings in the blog and she was glad to share with me her thoughts. I am especially happy whenever someone respond to my sharing, especially on lessons I learned. (I did not write in vain or foolishly). It takes little to make me happy and this is of one of them.

On Wednesday night, Paul and I went to pick up some bread from Swissbake and just when we are about to leave, I spotted lsh, we were together in BSF - 2006/2007. We asked of each other, she of my health and I of her girls. She could only keep tab of me through my blog and said that she has been encouraged by it. Little does she know that her words have encouraged me to keep on writing. Many times I think I should "end" this blog. But then again, I am not in "perfect" health (CR), so I still have to keep posting and updating. What irony, if I become well, I would stop blogging - when and where then would I have the opportunities to speak so boldly of GOD's grace and goodness to me. So let me continue to praise our LORD in this blog for as long as I can.

Don't you think I have been blessed much from Sunday...Monday...Tuesday ...and Wednesday!

4th Vidaza cycle - done

Started mid last week and completed the 4th cycle of Vidaza yesterday. Dr. T is quite certain ("cautiously optimistic" that is what a fellow patient's husband put it) that I need only 4 cycles and not the full 8. Hopefully this will be the case after the bone marrow biopsy in a month's time. The doctor can only give his best guess, nothing is 100% certain.

On the MM front, I have been given increased medication of Dexa and Thalidomide and be reviewed in 3 weeks' time. Hope that peripheral neuropathy from T, will not affect me too much.

Our hope is in the LORD, for His grace and His perfect will.

Religious lopsidedness

This chapter, so titled, instantly caught my attention. AWT is practical and pragmatic in his deliberation of the "Incredible Christian". Yes, indeed, we can be so "incredibly" lopsided that those not of the same faith and inclination, simply draws away from us purely because of our asymmetric behaviour. He talks of this "moral dualism" of being a child of GOD and still flesh of Adam's race, is a constant source of distress and struggle. Our desperate attempts at holiness without the in-working of the Holy Spirit will result in "spiritual deformity."

Consider these:

-when in our determination to be bold we become brazen (when boldness lost its charity)

-when in our desire to be frank we become rude (the Christian who boasts of calling a spade a spade end up calling everything a spade)

-when in our effort to be watchful we become suspicious (see enemies when none exist, spirit of hostility)

-when we seek to be serious and become somber (gloominess is a defect of character...there is no charm in religious melancholy)

-when we mean to be conscientious and become over-scrupulous (their world of permitted acts become narrower and narrower until at last they fear to engage in the common pursuits of life)

Reflect on the above and avoid at all costs.

Sanctified thinking

Today I share of AWT's thoughts on THINKING.

Thinking is a kind of living - to think is to be conscious. One does not need to think great thoughts, highly intellectual matters of concern but thinking right is far more important. It is not heavy thinking that shapes our character but the quiet attention of our mind to the surrounding world. Greatness is not necessary found in a magnificent poetry or art. Feats of thinking may create reputation but habits of thinking create character.

Sanctified thinking builds up a godly man. Circumstances do not make men; it is their reaction to circumstances that determines what kind of men they will be. The Christian should be and must be modified and conditioned by the Spirit. The Spirit-filled, prayerful Christian actually possesses the mind of CHRIST. Philippians 2:5 "Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus"

GOD must have all our thoughts in order that we be sanctified in our thinking. No need to go in search for great philosophies.

Incredible and remarkable AWTozer

Incredible and remarkable. This book by AW Tozer, is much more. It contains many excellent gems to refresh "old" Christians, set and ingrained in their ways. There is always a need for renewal of the mind.

I will share as I read:

To be Understood, Truth must be Lived -

Biblical doctrine is ineffective until it has been digested and assimilated by the total life.

Fact and Truth.

Truth in Scriptures is more than a fact.

Fact may be detached, impersonal, cold, disassociated from life.

Truth is warm, living, spiritual.

A theological fact may be held in the mind for a lifetime without its having any positive effect upon the moral character; but truth is creative, saving, transforming and always changes the one who receives it.

At what point does a theological fact become a life-giving truth? At the point where obedience begins - when faith gains the consent of the will!

Truth cannot aid us until we become participators. Understanding and participation is inseparable.

The individual that is Bible taught (fact) without being Spirit taught has simply failed to see that truth lies deeper than the theological statement of it.

"the natural man receiveth not the things of the Spirit" even though they boast of their knowledge of truth.

reflections for the New Year

Paul and I spent some early morning hours on the last day of 2009 at Kent Ridge Park. This little part of the ridge is so beautifully green, cool and breezy. The park has many tall and mature trees and the setting is so tranquil and peaceful. We brought our two camper chairs and settled down to do some reflections and prayers. Our focus was to read and contemplate the book of Ecclesiastes. We each read aloud a chapter alternately.

I will share my reflections and the verse that I feel inclined to guide me through towards 2010.

Eccl.5:20 "He seldom reflects on the days of his life, because GOD keeps him occupied with gladness of heart."

I find this verse to be deeply thoughtful and contemplative of GOD's goodness. Looking ahead for the new year I would like to focus less on myself; instead be more filled and fulfilled with thanksgiving and with gladness of heart. Be looking at the goodness and greatness of GOD in all the works He will be doing around me.

I pray and ask you to pray along with me that the LORD will keep me steadfast and faithful.