82 yrs

My mother in law went home to be with the LORD on 6th Feb after almost a decade of ill health with diabetes and a stroke 5 years later. The diabetes caused a leg amputation and she had been wheel chair-bound since then. For a good part of 70 years she was very healthy, living a simple and quiet life and attending our Senior Citizen thursday meetings. That is the highlight of her week and she especially enjoyed the company of Rosie who made a special effort to sit with her and made her welcome. My mother-in-law was a very quiet and private person, did not like to talk much about herself.

One thing I remember fondly of her is that she unlike most MIL, did not interfere with my child-rearing and I never had any incident with her regarding how the children should be fed, disciplined etc. She kindly and patiently took on her grandmotherly duties with cheer. In my early years there were many things I was rather "blur" as a young mother but there was never "I told you so" from her. After Melissa, we had Gerald by that time we had a pretty dependable Penang amah (Ah Gek). With Melissa we were staying at my mother's house for three years, so there was always some family members around to keep a eye. By the time Gerald came we thought we could manage on our own with Ah Gek, so we moved out to our own apartment at Rich East.

I worked, Paul worked and Auntie Gek to look after Melissa at 3 and newborn Gerald. Paul and I thought that was fine. But my in-laws didn't think it good to leave 2 young ones in the hands of a helper. So in their quiet and unobstrutive way, they made daily trips to our apartment to keep watch over the children. My father-in-law was working then, so my mother-in-law was the one who faithfully took a bus all the way from Pasir Panjang to the East Coast just so that she could keep a watch eye over the children. It was a long ride and in the late afternoon she would take the bus back. By the time we got back from work she was gone. She quietly did this for about a year. This was the way my mother-in-law showed her love and care. No interference, no fussing around etc simply accepting our decision and working around it as best as she could. A quiet and kindly mother.

Pictures at the wake - with Paul's only brother's daughter Chloe, father, Auntie Frances and Uncle Kai Poh.