Obadiah...un-brotherliness

Obadiah, the shortest, one chapter, Old Testament book has some interesting teachings. This prophet spoke on the relationship between the Edomites and Israelites, both descendants from Esau and Jacob (renamed Israel) twin sons from Isaac, son of Abraham.  Though Esau sold his birthright (dishonored what was honorable and significant) and suffered deceit from his brother but over time there was forgiveness and reconciliation. But the descendants from these two lines had diverged and became alien to their inherited blood-lineage. The Edomites became indifferent to a brother's peril - gloated over a brother's fall - stood aloof over a brother's misfortune - rejoiced over a brother's destruction and trouble. On such un-brotherliness, prophet Obadiah warned of GOD's judgment. The Edomites became proud and self-sufficient - "the pride of your heart has deceived you, you who live in the clefts of the rocks and make your home on the heights, you who say to yourself, 'Who can bring me down to the ground?'" 1:3

What lessons for the present? Just thinking about brotherliness - my thoughts zeroed in on the the mm-ers web community. There is tremendous depth and sincerity of brotherliness amongst the mm-ers - who are most willing to help one another, encourage and lift up the despondency of a newly diagnosed patient. Sharing of personal experiences with regards to treatment protocols and side effects of medications. Shared feelings of sadness with the passing on of those who lost the battle. Such selflessness, when faced with a failed SCT, still able to be happy over someone else's success. I am personally amazed and awed by the authenticity in concern and care within the mm community. Illness and suffering bring one to the lowest point of self-sufficiency, pride is zilch-ed, we become dependent on others, we learn to accept help from others and we become appreciative of others. Call it what you may - a shared destiny. I prefer to see it as brotherliness - a kindness that is bona fide. GOD would be pleased.
"This is the one I esteem: he who is humble and contrite in spirit, and trembles at my word." Isaiah 66:2

6am... aches and all

Taking 20mg of dexa at midnight and then woke up at 6am, is great! It's a  good night of sleep. Although for most "dexa" nights, I have been waking at 4 or 5am. Already that is reasonably good enough. To get a full 6 hours is excellent. 

Lately I realized that I have been getting rather frequent headaches, almost like a hangover - from the back of the head - a heavy, dense kind of feeling. It wakes me up in the morning. Paracetamol sometimes help. I wondered if I am not breathing enough oxygen when I sleep? I thought it could be due to dexa and have already informed my doc, at the last two reviews. 

I have tried sleeping without pillows (not the feather-type, this kind sinks and does not support; I use the ergo-support type for many years). For several nights now, I felt a lot better, no headaches when I woke up! Amazing, no pillow is good for my neck! At least for now. Possibly, pillow-less allow my neck to stretch out... I could have found the solution for my headaches!

We (mm-ers) have many kind of strange peculiarities affecting our body - backache, neckache, muscle cramps, numbness etc. Hopefully we can find ways to counter them and make our days more tolerable.  

Now I know (for me) these help:
Neck-head-ache: no pillow 
Back muscle cramps: tonic water, massages to release the tensions at the rib joints, I hear the "pops".
Feet and toes numbness: cocoa butter
Eye dryness and pressure: daily eye drops

I am thankful that the discomfort is not severe and not have to require pain medications or other supplements which some mm-ers have to depend on. So as long as these ways work for me, I am OK!

medical update

The bloodtest review today with the doctor went well. The numbers are stable. I am very happy and thankful there are a couple of good numbers.
1) The m-band at 4.35g/L has improved with the present light regiment of Revlimid 10mg daily for 3 weeks and  Dexa 20mg once per week for 3 weeks. Each cycle is 3 wks on and 2 wks off.
2) Zometa has been reduced from 3 monthly interval to 6 monthly (I was prepared for the infusion today but glad that it was not needed!). This is because Bone Mineral Density test showed improvement. BMD for the spine - from one year ago T at 0.0 to present T at 0.4, improvement of 4.7%. BMD for the hip - T -0.3 to -0.2, improvement of 0.6%
3) Cholesterol at 197, LDL 90, HDL 73, Trig 171 - are all within range. LDL at below 100 together with homocysteine at 9.41 (below 10) indicates the risk for clot is minimised.
4) Glycated HbA1C remains at ideal level 5.4 - this is great - I was concerned for diabetes risk due to the continuous steroids intake.
In general, my physical well-being is good with less fatigue than when I was on Revlimid at 15 mg (started with reduced dose of 10mg only 2 months ago) and especially with 2 weeks to rest and recover, helps. It shows that less is not bad.
MDS - according to doc, Vidaza has probably helped to control mds and allowed the medication to work on the myeloma.... so.... vidaza at 6 monthly interval. Looks like a concurrent treatment for both mm and mds is the course for me.

	180511	220611	180711	060911	101011
M-band g/L	5.2	5.66	5.03	4.68	4.35
IgG (6.5-16)	11.6	11.1	10.0	10.6	9.83
IgA (0-7-3.8)	1.26	1.55	1.22	1.15	1.19
IgM (0.5–2.0)	0.49	0.571	0.516	0.486	0.456
B2M 607-2454	1561	1273	1673	1634	1573
Album (37 – 51)	40	41	40	40	39
WBC (4 – 11)	2.95	2.88	2.13	4.16	3.44
ANC Neutr	1.56	1.296	0.958	2.288	1.857
RBC (3.8 – 5.4)	4.46	4.48	4.29	4.34	4.04
HGB (11.5 -16)	13.9	13.7	13.0	13.2	12.7
PLT 140 – 460	162	247	293	205	220
ALP Heat Stable	45	49	37	59	48
AST/SGOT (0-40)	33				30
ALT/SGPT (3-40)	45				54
Creatinine (0.4-1.1)	0.73	0.72	0.84	0.8	0.8
Calcium (8.4-10.4)	9.68	9.64	9.56	9.48	9.6
Vit D3 (18-78)			29
HbA1c				5.5	5.4
	140708	121108	191009	181010	101011
BMD hip	T-0.6	T -0.3 Z 0.7	T – 0.1 Z 0.8	T -0.3 Z  0.6	T-0.2 Z 0.7
BMD spine	T-0.3	T -0.1 Z 0.5	T 0.0 Z 0.9	T 0.0 Z 1.0	T 0.4 Z 1.4

aye-ok

I went for my regular eye check-up and has been pronounced ok. Eye pressure 16(right) and 14(left). Did the field vision test, eyes dilated and photographed, nerves test etc. It took 2 hours to go through all of them!  Sometimes I wonder whether if it is necessary to do all the tests at such frequency - I don't feel that there is any deterioration of the eye sight - why should I need to do the field vision test. Wouldn't it be sufficient to do it annually. Already having to see the eye doctor at six months interval is really frequent for me, the doctor is suggesting every three months as "gold standard" for eye review.
As a mm-er, I already have a busy calendar of medical visits -besides primary hematologist, there is need for cardio review and dental review!  Secondly, all the tests are costly and those photographs don't come cheap. Thirdly, optometric consultations and related expenses are not covered by insurance. 
As a patient how can I ensure that I am not undergoing excessive tests at unnecessarily frequent intervals.

sad...happy

sad....
There have been some rather sad news in myeloma blogville. The passing away of young mother Stacy and a couple days later, there was news on the passing of older Sid from NZ. The last time Sid wrote was almost a year ago and since then, no news. Sometimes no news is really bad news when mm-er is in such bad shape that he/she has no ability to write or maybe too depressed to write. But then it can also be that life is back to normal and mm-er is too busy! Busy or not, happy knitting or not, I have to regularly update to tell one and all, not to worry, I am still ok!
Another rather sad news from Pat, a well-loved mm-er who writes to encourage young and old, new or long-time mm-ers. He was diagnosed the same year as me. Recently he went for autologous transplant and was hopeful that the transplant could give some years free of drugs and medication. But it was not to be - the m-band went up instead! So dreadful! It is not all hopeless, there are other treatment options. But it is just so disappointing and this feeling is shared in the myeloma blogville. We understand and feel for one another.

happy...

Yes, I must be joyful (sometimes I take for granted and I forget) for each day I get to be with my family and friends, I get to have breakfast with P (especially if we can go for prawn noodle, porridge or nasi lemak...), I get to attend bible study with 30 ladies, I get to participate in this year's Alpha ....ah..... the list goes on. There are many things for which I am happy doing!

Yes, I must show the knits I just completed. Some colorful beanies and mittens for our dear grandbabies. But I must "proudly" display the gloves... I cannot believe it possible to knit those fingers. I thought it complex but amazingly, I could follow the instructions and I did it! I gave myself a pat on my back! I am so happy just being able to knit gloves. The gloves are for my daughter, M. For a amateur knitter, I am still learning new skills.
I love to knit for my loved ones and friends. Praying as I knit for God's blessings, His grace and favor to be upon them.

Amos - post script

I wrote "Amos plumb-line" on 29th Sept and kept it for a later posting. Know what... on 30th Sept, RBC daily bread, is on Amos 4. For a better word, such "coincidences" happen many times before. I know in my heart, it is the "rhema" word coming alive, speaking specifically to ME. Let me pay attention and take heed.

Excerpt from RBC 30th Sept titles it "1000th birthday" "In his book Long for This World, Jonathan Weiner writes about science’s promise to radically extend how long we live. At the center of the book is English scientist Aubrey de Grey, who predicts that science will one day offer us 1,000-year lifespans. Aubrey claims that molecular biology has finally placed a cure for aging within our reach But what difference does it make if, after living 1,000 years, we will eventually die anyway? De Grey’s prediction only postpones facing the ultimate question of what happens when we die. It does not answer it. The Scriptures tell us that death is not the end of our existence. Instead, we are assured that everyone will stand before Christ—believers for their works and nonbelievers for their rejection of Him (John 5:25-29; Rev. 20:11-15). All of us are sinners and in need of forgiveness. And only Christ’s death on the cross has provided forgiveness for all who believe (Rom. 3:23; 6:23). The Bible says, “It is appointed for men to die once, but after this the judgment” (Heb. 9:27). Our appointed face-to-face encounter with God puts everything in perspective. So whether we live 70 years or 1,000, the issue of eternity is the same: “Prepare to meet your God!” (Amos 4:12). 

After reading this, what do I think? For me... It is not to put fear (though a little fear is good, it wakes one up from slumber...) in my heart but I am reminded to have the right perspective, right purpose, right living...before the end comes. Am I ready to meet my Maker? Whether I have 1 day more, 1 year more or 10 years more,  I do not know, only my Maker.  I have already been extended 4 years. Unlike many of you, I have been given advanced "notice". Am I ready to give an accounting? Like it or not. Don't we only like reading about promises in the Scriptures of God's grace and blessings? We don't really like to talk about the Judgment Day. Let's be serious, it will come. "Prepare to meet your GOD" There shall be no excuses, myeloma or not! Not even myeloma can give me the excuse to live in complacency or unrighteously. 

A few days ago, Stacy R a young 36 year old, myeloma patient and mother of 2 young girls passed on.  She bravely battled a rather aggressive form of myeloma with amazing, unimaginable strength and undying trust in GOD. She was a caring and giving person - volunteered for Meals on Wheels, delivering meals to the elderly, helped troubled teens,  taken in stray and hurt animals. Hers was a life well lived. She was prepared to meet her GOD.   

I can imagine some will have a pretty heated exchange with GOD on why there is so much sufferings, pain, calamities, injustices and especially why someone like Stacy R should be taken away from her young children. There are far too many unanswered questions right now on this side of heaven. But should it stop one from believing there is a Maker? No answers does not equate to No GOD. Just that GOD is not giving all the answers to all our questions. (Though from the Bible, there are answers to questions on sufferings and calamities, just that we are not willing to accept those answers!).
Who dares question the ways of the Maker.

"He who forms the mountains, 
   who creates the wind, 
   and who reveals his thoughts to mankind, 
who turns dawn to darkness, 
   and treads on the heights of the earth— 
   the LORD God Almighty is His name." Amos 4:12

Amos - the plumb line

There is a time and a season for everything. In the book of Amos, it is time - the LORD roars and thunders. The prophet Amos had cried out and the LORD relented many times but the time has come.
"Look, I am setting a plumb line among my people: I will spare them no longer." (7:7) A plumb line to measure to GOD's standard of righteousness. A basket of ripe fruit. It is time, the time is ripe and I will spare them no longer." Sounds harsh? "The lion has roared— who will not fear?" (3:8) It is pure foolishness to ignore the warning. "The Sovereign LORD has sworn by His holiness..." (4:2) We ignore the word of the LORD at our own peril. Judgment on Whom? Why? What? Who?

WHOM?
My people, says the LORD

WHY?
Those who turn justice into poison
and the fruit of righteousness into bitterness,
cast righteousness to the ground,
oppress the poor and crush the needy,
oppress the righteous and take bribes,
deprive the poor of justice.
Those who are complacent,
lie on beds inlaid with ivory,
and lounge on their couches.
Those who dine on choice lambs and fattened calves.
Those who drink wine by the bowlful
and use the finest lotions.
You who brag about your freewill offerings— 
boast about them,  
for this is what you love to do.

WHAT?
I will send a famine through the land -
not a famine of food or a thirst for water,
but a famine of hearing the words of the LORD. (8:11)
Men will stagger from sea to sea
and wander from north to east,
searching for the word of the LORD,
but they will not find it. (8:12)
(The Day of the LORD)
That day will be darkness, not light.  
It will be as though a man fled from a lion 
only to meet a bear, 
as though he entered his house 
and rested his hand on the wall 
only to have a snake bite him. 
Will not the day of the LORD be darkness, not light— 
pitch-dark, without a ray of brightness? (5:19-20)

WHO?
The LORD is He.
He who forms the mountains, creates the wind,
and reveals His thoughts to man,
He who turns dawn to darkness,
and treads the high places of the earth -
the LORD GOD Almighty is His name. (4:13)
He who made the Pieiades and Orion,
who turns blackness into dawn
and darkens day into night,
who calls for the waters of the sea
and pours them out over the face of the land -
the LORD is His name. (5:8)