don't waste your cancer - JP and DP

I was directed by a friend to this webarticle by John Piper and the added reflections of David Powlison. JP gave 10 reasons why Christians should not waste their experience with cancer. It is truly quite amazing to look at this dreaded disease in such a bold and courageous manner. Ultimately it speaks of a remarkably strong faith that fully trust in a Sovereign GOD who is loving and good. I recap on some of the points made. For the full commentary go to http://www.desiringgod.org/ResourceLibrary/TasteAndSee/ByDate/2006/1776_Dont_Waste_Your_Cancer/

(This website allows for sharing of this material in its full context)

1. You will waste your cancer if you do not believe it is designed for you by God.

It will not do to say that God only uses our cancer but does not design it. What God permits, he permits for a reason. And that reason is his design. If God foresees molecular developments becoming cancer, he can stop it or not. If he does not, he has a purpose. Since he is infinitely wise, it is right to call this purpose a design. Satan is real and causes many pleasures and pains. But he is not ultimate. So when he strikes Job with boils (Job 2:7), Job attributes it ultimately to God (2:10) and the inspired writer agrees: “They . . . comforted him for all the evil that the Lord had brought upon him” (Job 42:11). If you don’t believe your cancer is designed for you by God, you will waste it.

DP: Recognizing his designing hand does not make you stoic or dishonest or artificially buoyant. Instead, the reality of God’s design elicits and channels your honest outcry to your one true Savior. God’s design invites honest speech, rather than silencing us into resignation. Consider the honesty of the Psalms, of King Hezekiah (Isaiah 38), of Habakkuk 3. These people are bluntly, believingly honest because they know that God is God and set their hopes in him. Psalm 28 teaches you passionate, direct prayer to God. He must hear you. He will hear you. He will continue to work in you and your situation. This outcry comes from your sense of need for help (28:1-2). Then name your particular troubles to God (28:3-5). You are free to personalize with your own particulars. Often in life’s ‘various trials’ (James 1:2), what you face does not exactly map on to the particulars that David or Jesus faced - but the dynamic of faith is the same. Having cast your cares on him who cares for you, then voice your joy (28:6-7): the God-given peace that is beyond understanding. Finally, because faith always works out into love, your personal need and joy will branch out into loving concern for others (28:8-9). Illness can sharpen your awareness of how thoroughly God has already and always been at work in every detail of your life.

I find DP's reflections added further depth to JP's - yes, we cannot be "artificially buoyant" and dishonestly pretend that it does not hurt and cause fear, or that we welcome suffering and pain with open arms. But like Hezekiah, we can cry out to our LORD to help and rescue - "O LORD, I am oppressed; Undertake for me!" - that is a honest cry - wow, what a stunning expression - Undertake for me- Telling GOD, I am helpless, there is nothing I can do but You, Sovereign LORD can do everything. The LORD will undertake to walk alongside us through the entire journey. The end is not the highlight but the journey and the deepening of faith is what matters - being able to voice the joy and experiencing GOD-given peace, truly is experiencing GOD in a very special way.

3. You will waste your cancer if you seek comfort from your odds rather than from God.

The design of God in your cancer is not to train you in the rationalistic, human calculation of odds. The world gets comfort from their odds. Not Christians. Some count their chariots (percentages of survival) and some count their horses (side effects of treatment), but we trust in the name of the Lord our God (Psalm 20:7). God’s design is clear from 2 Corinthians 1:9, “We felt that we had received the sentence of death. But that was to make us rely not on ourselves but on God who raises the dead.” The aim of God in your cancer (among a thousand other good things) is to knock props out from under our hearts so that we rely utterly on him.

DP: God himself is your comfort. He gives himself. The hymn “Be Still My Soul” (by Katerina von Schlegel) reckons the odds the right way: we are 100% certain to suffer, and Christ is 100% certain to meet us, to come for us, comfort us, and restore love’s purest joys. The hymn “How Firm a Foundation” reckons the odds the same way: you are 100% certain to pass through grave distresses, and your Savior is 100% certain to “be with you, your troubles to bless, and sanctify to you your deepest distress.” With God, you aren’t playing percentages, but living within certainties.

Talking about odds - it is true that doctors will give their best professional judgement of the various treatments they may propose for you and the possible side effects, the risks and mortality - it will always be some big and small number, whether 50-50% or 70-30% or 99.9-0.1%. You would think it is better to be in the 99.9-0.1% scenario. But no doctor can promise that you will not be that 0.1%. It is comforting when the odds are favourable but we will feel let-down when we are on the wrong side. With GOD we will not be betting on odds but 100% promise of present comfort and future eternal life.

5. You will waste your cancer if you think that “beating” cancer means staying alive rather than cherishing Christ.

Satan’s and God’s designs in your cancer are not the same. Satan designs to destroy your love for Christ. God designs to deepen your love for Christ. Cancer does not win if you die. It wins if you fail to cherish Christ. God’s design is to wean you off the breast of the world and feast you on the sufficiency of Christ. It is meant to help you say and feel, “I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord.” And to know that therefore, “To live is Christ, and to die is gain” (Philippians 3:8; 1:21).

DP: Cherishing Christ expresses the two core activities of faith: dire need and utter joy. Many psalms cry out in a ‘minor key’: we cherish our Savior by needing him to save us from real troubles, real sins, real sufferings, real anguish. Many psalms sing out in a ‘major key’: we cherish our Savior by delighting in him, loving him, thanking him for all his benefits to us, rejoicing that his salvation is the weightiest thing in the world and that he gets last say. And many psalms start out in one key and end up in the other. Cherishing Christ is not monochromatic; you live the whole spectrum of human experience with him. To ‘beat’ cancer is to live knowing how your Father has compassion on his beloved child, because he knows your frame, that you are but dust. Jesus Christ is the way, the truth, and the life. To live is to know him, whom to know is to love.

I like this part that cherishing Christ is not "monochromatic" - from a 'minor key' we can and should progress towards a 'major key' - living out the full spectrum of human experience - a delightful exuberance when we experience real troubles and real joy! Cancer wins when we fail to cherish Christ and deepen our love for Him.

7. You will waste your cancer if you let it drive you into solitude instead of deepen your relationships with manifest affection.

When Epaphroditus brought the gifts to Paul sent by the Philippian church he became ill and almost died. Paul tells the Philippians, “He has been longing for you all and has been distressed because you heard that he was ill” (Philippians 2:26-27). What an amazing response! It does not say they were distressed that he was ill, but that he was distressed because they heard he was ill. That is the kind of heart God is aiming to create with cancer: a deeply affectionate, caring heart for people. Don’t waste your cancer by retreating into yourself.

DP: Our culture is terrified of facing death. It is obsessed with medicine. It idolizes youth, health and energy. It tries to hide any signs of weakness or imperfection. You will bring huge blessing to others by living openly, believingly and lovingly within your weaknesses. Paradoxically, moving out into relationships when you are hurting and weak will actually strengthen others. ‘One anothering’ is a two-way street of generous giving and grateful receiving. Your need gives others an opportunity to love. And since love is always God’s highest purpose in you, too, you will learn his finest and most joyous lessons as you find small ways to express concern for others even when you are most weak. A great, life-threatening weakness can prove amazingly freeing. Nothing is left for you to do except to be loved by God and others, and to love God and others.

Yep. I have experienced “one anothering” in a big way! There was a lot of generous giving on the part of many and definitely grateful receiving on my end. Even to this day, I am still receiving (not kidding, yesterday, pots of chicken buah keluak and radish cakes) – we have been blessed and loved, many times over and over again! Paul and I are cherished in this loving community of believers. It is not just loved by GOD alone, it is definitely GOD and others!

8. You will waste your cancer if you grieve as those who have no hope.

Paul used this phrase in relation to those whose loved ones had died: “We do not want you to be uninformed, brothers, about those who are asleep, that you may not grieve as others do who have no hope” (1 Thessalonians 4:13). There is a grief at death. Even for the believer who dies, there is temporary loss—loss of body, and loss of loved ones here, and loss of earthly ministry. But the grief is different—it is permeated with hope. “We would rather be away from the body and at home with the Lord” (2 Corinthians 5:8). Don’t waste your cancer grieving as those who don’t have this hope.

DP: Show the world this different way of grieving. Paul said that he would have had “grief upon grief” if his friend Epaphroditus had died. He had been grieving, feeling the painful weight of his friend’s illness. He would have doubly grieved if his friend had died. But this loving, honest, God-oriented grief coexisted with “rejoice always” and “the peace of God that passes understanding” and “showing a genuine concern for your welfare.” How on earth can heartache coexist with love, joy, peace, and an indestructible sense of life purpose? In the inner logic of faith, this makes perfect sense. In fact, because you have hope, you may feel the sufferings of this life more keenly: grief upon grief. In contrast, the grieving that has no hope often chooses denial or escape or busyness because it can’t face reality without becoming distraught. In Christ, you know what’s at stake, and so you keenly feel the wrong of this fallen world. You don’t take pain and death for granted. You love what is good, and hate what is evil. After all, you follow in the image of “a man of sorrows, acquainted with grief.” But this Jesus chose his cross willingly “for the joy set before him.” He lived and died in hopes that all come true. His pain was not muted by denial or medication, nor was it tainted with despair, fear, or thrashing about for any straw of hope that might change his circumstances. Jesus’ final promises overflow with the gladness of solid hope amid sorrows: “My joy will be in you, and your joy will be made full. Your grief will be turned to joy. No one will take your joy away from you. Ask, and you will receive, so that your joy will be made full. These things I speak in the world, so that they may have my joy made full in themselves” (selection from John 15-17).

Grief is no fun and a heavy burden to carry. Can one turn it into a GOD-oriented grief that co-exists with joy and peace, where there is hope and meaning and purpose. Surely the CHRISTian must – for that is the reason why we bear the name of CHRIST.

DP:You come to terms with life and death on his terms. He will gentle you, purify you, cleanse you of vanities. He will make you need him and love him. He rearranges your priorities, so first things come first more often. He will walk with you. Of course you’ll fail at times, perhaps seized by irritability or brooding, escapism or fears. But he will always pick you up when you stumble. Your inner enemy - a moral cancer 10,000 times more deadly than your physical cancer.

This final parting shot from DP is just outstanding. What is more life threatening than the dreaded cancer, are besetting sins - pride, greed, lust, hatred, unforgiveness, impatience, laziness, procrastination – all these are worst than cancer. But GOD is all gentleness when it comes to dealing with His children who are in need of His compassion and comfort – He will gentle you, purify you and cleanse you of vanities.

place of tension

This morning, Paul was carrying this book and I took a quick glimpse into the content. It is a collection of Martyn-Lloyd Jones' sermons. In one of the chapters, MLJ gave his views on how he sees GOD answers prayer. He takes us away from the petition and the answer; but directs our thoughts on the process, the journey and the Almighty.

This is what MLJ says:

He tests our faith.

He proves us.

He leaves us in the place of tension to discover whether we are really trusting Him.

He does not deliver us at once.

He leaves it until the last moment in order that our faith may be tried.

The wind is allowed to blow in order that the oak may become mighty and strong.

Are you beset round about by difficulties?

Do you feel you are in an impossible situation?

Are you downcast and disconsolate?

Believe,

Trust,

In His good time,

He will answer.

He will act.

Pray on.

Hold on and you will not be disappointed.

Psalm 22:5 "They cried to you and were saved; in you they trusted and were not disappointed."

tuesday, wednesday...

I am again thankful that I could drive myself on tuesday for bible study and wednesday for my physiotherapy. On both days, Paul had meetings and was not able to drive me. Actually I am happy to have some "independence" and not have Paul send me everywhere. I think this way I will gain my confidence and can start to resume more normal activities. I have to persuade Paul to believe that I can do it. Really I don't want to be treated like an "invalid"!

Many, many MM patients lead a reasonably normal life even though they frequently have various oral and intravenous treatments. I believe I can be normal again.... and that happens when I can be less dependent. So when you see Paul, please persuade him to loosen his reins on me... please help.

Tomorrow (friday) I am going to physio again, I shall drive myself, unless if we decide to have lunch out together after that.

gone home

Our dear friend lsc has gone home to be with our LORD yesterday evening. This is after being in hospital for the whole of January and the pain was getting very bad. We are thankful that she no longer suffers, she is in the arms of Jesus. She has battled colon cancer for 5 years and had undergone numerous chemos. She had been brave and courageous throughout this time. Another thing she had, was a 100% devoted and supportive husband in A. A suffers a different kind of pain... pain of his heart when he sees the cancer progressed. The last quarter had been extremely difficult, lsc had to go into the hospital many times when vomiting persisted and she could not consume food. The last month was totally without any nutrition except for continuous intravenous drip to hydrate and pain med. The last week, she was barely conscious, most time drowsed with a cocktail of sedatives.

Most people will fight a losing battle with cancer. It can be lonely and frightening to go through the end days of pain and mental roller-coaster, as these drugs affect the mind, causing hallucinations. The last we saw her, she was still lucid and smiling and peaceful. She was comforted with deborah mae's cd on "come to the water". But soon after, her condition deteriorated very rapidly.

But one thing Christians have for certain - Jesus walks with us through the valley of the shadow of death. We really will need Him then, because nobody can share the pain or the loneliness. Really that final journey we have to walk alone. Psalm 23 assures of the presence of our Shepherd.

little encouragements and a huge "tent"

The past few days, I have received several little encouragements. Surely these are by GOD's grace. And why am I in need of encouragement? Well, the last lot of Vidaza jabs, have given me some discomfort (not really that bad but I could not get into my regular clothes - my pants tightens on the abdomen and I really could not stay in it for long. This time round, the first day's jabs took quite many days to subside, usually the swelling should ease off first... but the bumps were rather painful and worrisome...that I thought I may have to excise them! Phew, that would be unpleasant. But they have now reduced to pea-size - THANK GOD!

My distress came about when I had to go to church last Sunday in a "tent" which is my "baggiest of baggiest" long dress. I looked into my wardrobe and there was nothing to fit me except for this huge house-coat like dress - but it was presentable and most importantly, comfortable. Well, I am surely thankful that it was there for me. This piece has been with me for over 10 years, it is more like a casual resort type wear. There was another one which I had given away or packed up. So I was really glad it came in handy this time.

Now back to the little encouragements. I didn't take note of them until yesterday. And they were all there for me since Sunday and everyday after that - Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday!

Sometimes we are blessed with goodness from our LORD and we don't even notice.

On Sunday, at church, lkw started the worship service with reading from Psalm 33. My thoughts focused on verses 18-22.

"But the eyes of the LORD are on those who fear him, on those whose hope is in his unfailing love, to deliver them from death and keep them alive in famine. We wait in hope for the LORD; he is our help and our shield. In him our hearts rejoice, for we trust in his holy name. May your unfailing love rest upon us, O LORD, even as we put our hope in you."

This sharing blessed me in that reaffirmed my last post when I ended the blog with placing my hope in the LORD but I did not add a scriptural reference and this passage speaks fully of my hope and our hope. This is how our LORD watches over His children - v13-14"From heaven the LORD looks down and see mankind; from His dwelling place He watches all who live on earth - He forms the hearts of all, who considers everything they do." We may frequently forget how the LORD's eyes are on those who fear Him, but He is watching over all of us all the time and He considers what we do. Yes, v4 "For the word of the LORD is right and true; He is faithful in all He does." My heart is blessed by the reading of the word. GOD's word is life to us and it can lift our spirit to rejoice and glorify Him.

On Monday, through the post, I received a Thank You card. Just to know that a little something I did, can bless another person, is great encouragement. For a long time I have been a recipient of the generosity and kindness of many; I, on the other hand, has not been able to do much for anyone. Truly it is by GOD's grace if anyone of us can do good and be a blessing. Let all of us, who are able, be ceaselessly seeking to be channels of GOD's grace to others.

On Tuesday, at Biblestudy, I talked to the friend who "anonymously" gave me the book from AWTozer, I kind of knew she could be the one to give it to me. We were so happy talking about the deep insights of Tozer's writings. I wrote excerpts of my readings in the blog and she was glad to share with me her thoughts. I am especially happy whenever someone respond to my sharing, especially on lessons I learned. (I did not write in vain or foolishly). It takes little to make me happy and this is of one of them.

On Wednesday night, Paul and I went to pick up some bread from Swissbake and just when we are about to leave, I spotted lsh, we were together in BSF - 2006/2007. We asked of each other, she of my health and I of her girls. She could only keep tab of me through my blog and said that she has been encouraged by it. Little does she know that her words have encouraged me to keep on writing. Many times I think I should "end" this blog. But then again, I am not in "perfect" health (CR), so I still have to keep posting and updating. What irony, if I become well, I would stop blogging - when and where then would I have the opportunities to speak so boldly of GOD's grace and goodness to me. So let me continue to praise our LORD in this blog for as long as I can.

Don't you think I have been blessed much from Sunday...Monday...Tuesday ...and Wednesday!

4th Vidaza cycle - done

Started mid last week and completed the 4th cycle of Vidaza yesterday. Dr. T is quite certain ("cautiously optimistic" that is what a fellow patient's husband put it) that I need only 4 cycles and not the full 8. Hopefully this will be the case after the bone marrow biopsy in a month's time. The doctor can only give his best guess, nothing is 100% certain.

On the MM front, I have been given increased medication of Dexa and Thalidomide and be reviewed in 3 weeks' time. Hope that peripheral neuropathy from T, will not affect me too much.

Our hope is in the LORD, for His grace and His perfect will.

Religious lopsidedness

This chapter, so titled, instantly caught my attention. AWT is practical and pragmatic in his deliberation of the "Incredible Christian". Yes, indeed, we can be so "incredibly" lopsided that those not of the same faith and inclination, simply draws away from us purely because of our asymmetric behaviour. He talks of this "moral dualism" of being a child of GOD and still flesh of Adam's race, is a constant source of distress and struggle. Our desperate attempts at holiness without the in-working of the Holy Spirit will result in "spiritual deformity."

Consider these:

-when in our determination to be bold we become brazen (when boldness lost its charity)

-when in our desire to be frank we become rude (the Christian who boasts of calling a spade a spade end up calling everything a spade)

-when in our effort to be watchful we become suspicious (see enemies when none exist, spirit of hostility)

-when we seek to be serious and become somber (gloominess is a defect of character...there is no charm in religious melancholy)

-when we mean to be conscientious and become over-scrupulous (their world of permitted acts become narrower and narrower until at last they fear to engage in the common pursuits of life)

Reflect on the above and avoid at all costs.

Sanctified thinking

Today I share of AWT's thoughts on THINKING.

Thinking is a kind of living - to think is to be conscious. One does not need to think great thoughts, highly intellectual matters of concern but thinking right is far more important. It is not heavy thinking that shapes our character but the quiet attention of our mind to the surrounding world. Greatness is not necessary found in a magnificent poetry or art. Feats of thinking may create reputation but habits of thinking create character.

Sanctified thinking builds up a godly man. Circumstances do not make men; it is their reaction to circumstances that determines what kind of men they will be. The Christian should be and must be modified and conditioned by the Spirit. The Spirit-filled, prayerful Christian actually possesses the mind of CHRIST. Philippians 2:5 "Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus"

GOD must have all our thoughts in order that we be sanctified in our thinking. No need to go in search for great philosophies.

Incredible and remarkable AWTozer

Incredible and remarkable. This book by AW Tozer, is much more. It contains many excellent gems to refresh "old" Christians, set and ingrained in their ways. There is always a need for renewal of the mind.

I will share as I read:

To be Understood, Truth must be Lived -

Biblical doctrine is ineffective until it has been digested and assimilated by the total life.

Fact and Truth.

Truth in Scriptures is more than a fact.

Fact may be detached, impersonal, cold, disassociated from life.

Truth is warm, living, spiritual.

A theological fact may be held in the mind for a lifetime without its having any positive effect upon the moral character; but truth is creative, saving, transforming and always changes the one who receives it.

At what point does a theological fact become a life-giving truth? At the point where obedience begins - when faith gains the consent of the will!

Truth cannot aid us until we become participators. Understanding and participation is inseparable.

The individual that is Bible taught (fact) without being Spirit taught has simply failed to see that truth lies deeper than the theological statement of it.

"the natural man receiveth not the things of the Spirit" even though they boast of their knowledge of truth.

reflections for the New Year

Paul and I spent some early morning hours on the last day of 2009 at Kent Ridge Park. This little part of the ridge is so beautifully green, cool and breezy. The park has many tall and mature trees and the setting is so tranquil and peaceful. We brought our two camper chairs and settled down to do some reflections and prayers. Our focus was to read and contemplate the book of Ecclesiastes. We each read aloud a chapter alternately.

I will share my reflections and the verse that I feel inclined to guide me through towards 2010.

Eccl.5:20 "He seldom reflects on the days of his life, because GOD keeps him occupied with gladness of heart."

I find this verse to be deeply thoughtful and contemplative of GOD's goodness. Looking ahead for the new year I would like to focus less on myself; instead be more filled and fulfilled with thanksgiving and with gladness of heart. Be looking at the goodness and greatness of GOD in all the works He will be doing around me.

I pray and ask you to pray along with me that the LORD will keep me steadfast and faithful.

December - a time for rejoicing

December is coming to an end for 2009 and I haven't even posted anything. Yet by GOD's grace I have had many joyous days. So it is not right for me to not write.....

First week of December, we, all seven of us with Thaddaeus had time to spend together. It was good to have some time of quietness with everyone - the boys Gerald and Russ, and Adele had finished with exams, were all in need of a good rest. For us, rest is just having time to lunch together, cooking dinner together and taking walks. We took the opportunity to have family photos taken - this was done in a wooded setting. The last time we had a family portrait was almost 12 years ago (oops, forgot, there was one taken 4 years back, studio kind); and everybody has changed, grown taller, wider, hair greyer and more importantly, new members added - Andy, Adele, Thadd! - truly they are blessings from the LORD. Our photograher RO did a fantastic job in 1 hour and took many great shots. We really like the outdoor scenes.

Christmas time was also a time to get together with our friends. Just thinking about the past Christmases and how it was this year, it is definitely with much gratitude and thanksgiving.

Christmas 2007 was very quiet, no celebration; Christmas 2008 was back to the usual with plenty of food and festive cheer but I remember I felt tired; and now for Christmas 2009, I was in "top-form", I lasted till the end of evening (which was 10pm as there was early service the next morning). There is definitely much improvement in my physical well-being. Isn't all this reason to be thankful. Yet in the midst of all this celebration, we are reminded of the most precious gift - our Savior - the reason for the season.

Another "momentous" celebration - our 30th wedding anniversary! Isn't wonderful - we were able to rejoice over GOD's abundant grace and goodness in blessing our 30 years together.

Yes!!! there is so much to be joyful and so much to celebrate. When we are able to see and experience all these milestones, we should together with as many who love us, lift up our hands in praise to our LORD!

December has truly been a time for much rejoicing.

My favourite bible verse for many Decembers now, has been: Psalm 36:8,9

"They feast on the abundance of your house;

You give them drink from your river of delights.

For with you is the fountain of life;

in Your light we see light."

and we fervently seek GOD's favour -

"Continue your love to those who know You,

Your righteousness to the upright in heart."

a start - MDS

Today Paul and I met with W and A. We have been told by Dr. G that W is keen on starting a local support group for MDS - those with dysplastic blood cells. It was good to meet with another person with MDS. I am sure it will be helpful for us to share about how we are managing and coping and living with our condition. At least we know we are not alone in this challenging journey, we can encourage one another.

little troubles

Last Sunday, I chatted with this lady who is an organist, who frequently and sincerely asked about my health. Only once did she talked about herself and only then did I realise she has her own troubles. I think she said she fell and injured her hand. For a piano teacher, this is bad news. She sought medical help and her orthopaedic doctor told her that her thumb which became bent cannot be operated on. While the injury and pain has subsided, the bent shape remained, surgery cannot straighten it and she was told she cannot play the piano or organ in the same way as before. Such discouraging news! However this cheerful lady places her faith in our LORD and trusts in His help. Instead of being downcast as she look at her bent thumb and last finger, she exclaimed that the bent thumb and finger are great for playing the organ. They are now angled in such a way that she can play the piano and organ, even better. While she may have difficulty pressing the little buttons on her mobile, that is not important. What is more important is that she can still play. She was so pleased to tell that to me. Yes, the doctor was "right" in some way, she cannot play as before, true but wrong, she can play even better now! I could feel her joy and her gratitude to GOD.

It is so beautiful when one does not stay discourage or sad with whatever troubles one may have.

Life is not a bed of roses and without troubles. It is how we look at it and live it that will fill it with joy and peace. Praise GOD for S.

Jeremiah - so picturesque

It's really amazing what one can learn from the book of Jeremiah. A major old testament book with 52 chapters, is it possible to do a study of it in 9 weeks? Well, yes. Our bible study teacher, HLC, has made it so picturesque that I just have to share what I have learnt.

Jeremiah is known as the "weeping prophet" with a sorrowful ministry that lasted 40 years. He was called as a young man, fearful, self-doubting "I do not know how to speak, I am only a child," spiritually and socially immature. Yet he like many others would be called to accomplish extraordinary work for a disconsolate nation in a time of religious persecutions and apostasies. To be called by GOD, most time, is never to a life of ease. Jeremiah's life was full of sorrow, rejection, criticism, hostility, loneliness, hardship, pain, tears ..... would one say or conclude that it was a happy life, a successful career.... hardly. But for sure, in GOD's eyes, it served a specific and glorious purpose. Jeremiah lived in full obedience to GOD's moral standards and ways; spoke and acted as the LORD instructed him.

What is the book of Jeremiah about? It is a call to wake up and get real!

We did not cover all 52 chapters but a selection; and from this, LC was able to pull out a very "picturesque" overview. Our study is portrayed in 9 images - an almond tree, a beautiful temple, a linen sash, the potter and clay, the righteous branch, 2 baskets of figs, the cup of wrath, a worthless field and sinking in the mud.

I mind-mapped it.

Imagine a young Jeremiah growing old with a long beard, walking past "an almond tree" towards "a beautifully renovated temple", wearing "a ceremonial linen sash" in one hand carrying "a righteous branch" over his shoulder, balancing at one end, "a clay pot" and on the other end "2 baskets of figs" and his other hand holding "a cup of wrath"; along the way, he bought "a worthless field" and just before his destination, he fell into a well "sinking in the mud". What a tragedy!

An almond tree -

It is flowering - sign of warm weather - a sign that something is going to happen. We live in a world of cause and effect, if we obey, we reap promises, if we disobey, we will reap judgment. There is serious consequences for godlessness and apostasy. Like J, we are in a time of spiritual apathy and rapid moral decline. The word, almond - "shoqed" sounds like "shaqed". "Shaqed" means "I am watching" (J1:12, J7:11). GOD is watching and He will act soon.

A beautiful temple -

Is our Christian faith just a beautifully renovated temple but its pews are empty. There is outward religiosity but devoid of holiness and godliness - a false spirituality - incorrigibly religious and puffed up with spiritual pride. In J's time, their religion was a veneer, superficial, religious observance without moral obedience. Likewise in our times, truth is perverted, corrupted and has varnished from our hearts. There is no covenant blessing without covenant obedience. There is no faith without practice of holiness.

A ceremonial linen sash -

The ceremonial linen sash is adorned to display GOD's glory. This suggests a picture of beauty, honor, loyalty and dignity. That is what our lives are to be - a walking display, a living sermon of GOD's holiness and glory. We are not meant (a piece of expensive, exquisite linen) to be buried under the crevice of a rock to become wet, mouldy and useless.

Are we to be committed to nothing, loyal to no one; living only to please self?

Eph 1:6, 12,14 - we are to be the praise of His glorious grace

The clay pot -

Either we believe or we don't - it is as simple as this - GOD is our Maker. He is Creator. He is Sovereign.

That being the case, there is nothing difficult about the concept of potter and clay. He can do anything to us and with us. Some could become monuments and masterpieces; others, simply household utensils, yet useful and important. Are we pliable in His hands?

WE - we are helpless. HE - His authority is total.

GOD has a purpose for every life He is molding - the Potter is not playing with clay! No potter would set out to create an "ugly" "useless" piece. No, we are works of beauty to be molded into a monument of GOD's love and grace. We have no intrinsic beauty and worth but what we can become depends on the Potter and how "malleable" we are. "Our lives is an interplay of GOD's sovereignty and man's response." HLC

A righteous branch -

Bad shepherds and false teachers who are "soft" on sin, no integrity, close an eye to the decadence of a permissive society, there is a dissonance in what they say - speaking pleasant and comforting words that are worthless and damaging and harmful. A good shepherd must provide safe boundaries for their sheep and cultivate deep convictions for own godliness and godliness of the sheep.

2 baskets of figs -

Every person is on offering to GOD (or other gods - gods of wealth, greed, pride, career etc). We decide who we offer our lives to. And we are either an offering of "good" or "bad" figs. We either receive GOD's care and protection, when we obey as "good" figs, or we receive GOD's punishment, when we disobey as "bad" figs.

We need to have a true perspective of our future and not be derailed by present circumstances. We must be willing to trust GOD's leading through difficult situations. Our present and immediate may sour our perspective of the "eternal" future. Our desire for immediate gratification, a mentality for "blessings now" are signs of a consumer-driven society. We need to learn a higher order of obedience and look beyond just the present, towards a glorious eternal future.

A cup of wrath -

One hard truth post-modern world needs to know is that GOD is an angry GOD. GOD has always been depicted as a good, loving, kind, compassionate, forgiving GOD and we forget that ANGER is very much a dimension of GOD's character. He is angry with evil, injustice, immorality, wickedness. Every man, woman and child has to drink either the cup of wrath or the cup of covenant. Jesus Christ has taken that cup of wrath and as believers, we have in our hands the cup of covenant.

Here is a message to remind us of GOD's anger. GOD is infinitely holy and has no tolerance for sin, He is slow to anger and that does not mean no anger, it means there is a time to His anger.

A worthless field -

J was told to buy a worthless field. In the midst of war and been taken over by the Babylonians, J was given such a strange and unusual instruction. And yes, J obeyed fully. He was been taken advantage of by his relative, who wanted to sell the family's field to J. In wars, immovable assets are worthless, cash is king. Exploited or not, J willed himself to fear and obey GOD and not be "smiffed" by a cunning relative.

This "investment" points to a future of hope and restoration. GOD will NOT remain angry forever. His punishment will come to an end. He is a GOD of many chances. He promises hope and a future. This "worthless" field looks beyond one restoration, but to many restorations and to the greater restoration of salvation by grace to all humankind. GOD will work at the hearts of man and cause them to be single-minded in love for Him. A new heart and a new everlasting covenant. GOD will rejoice in doing us good. J29:11-14. J32:38-42

Wow. A beautiful message of judgment turned to hope.

Sinking in mud -

Poor J, maligned and misunderstood to the very end, suffered ignobly in the hands of his countrymen. He was thrown into a cistern and sunk into the mud till his neck. GOD rescued him through the kind and courageous Cushite, Ebed-Melech.

This image of sinking in the mud paints the society we are in - social and moral decline and an even greater a danger - spiritual decay - when our commitment to GOD remains tentative and lukewarm. Are we really serious about our Christian faith? There is no easy obedience.

"The price of obedience is high but the price of disobedience is infinitely higher." HLC

"There is a way of life that leads to death and a way of death that leads to life." John Stott

"For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will save it." Lk 9:24

Do we think for a minute that J had an easy life and full of blessings. No, it was with lots of hardship and pain and rejection, it was a tough 40-years ministry. We look at this faithful, obedient and committed giant of a prophet and know that we can endure and go through whatever the LORD puts before us. Our lives must be to His praise and glory. May the LORD help us.

The "I Will" GOD

This week our bible study is on Jeremiah 32 and I am especially reminded that in every aspect of life our GOD is sovereign and omnipotent. We frequently need to be reminded "who" He is and what He will do our lives.

Who He is:

-He made the heavens and earth by His great power and outstretched arm.

-Nothing too hard for Him

-He show love to thousands

-He is great and powerful

-He is LORD Almighty

-Great are His purposes

-Mighty are His deeds

-His eyes are opened to the ways of men

-He reward men according to their conduct and deeds

He will:

-I will surely gather them

-I will bring them back and let them live in safety

-I will be their GOD (they will be my people)

-I will give them singleness of heart

-I will make an everlasting covenant with them

-I will never stop doing good to them

-I will inspire them to fear me (so they will never turn away from me)

-I will rejoice in doing them good

This GOD of Jeremiah is the same yesterday, today and forever. Amen

third cycle

Yesterday was the last day for jabs. Yeah, the seven days went by real fast for this third cycle. My tummy looks a mess but it's all covered up. It will take about a week for the redness to go away. My reaction this time was mostly in the evening after 6pm, I did feel nauseous and cannot eat much, low grade fever (according to nurse Ida, it is a good response to have some fever). So for the past few days, I ate more at breakfast, lunchtime and had a little soup at dinnertime. Once I know how my body takes to Vidaza, I can respond appropriately. I also slept much earlier. In a few days, I should revert back to normal condition.

Anyway through the past months, I have been gaining weight...oh dear....good...but not too much.

All these "goodness" is by GOD's grace and strength...we can do all things (and go through all things) through CHRIST who strengthens us.

no icing

M-band showed no change from last reading, so there is no "icing" on the cake. But we can be thankful that it hasn't gone up, bearing in mind that I am not on any maintenance for myeloma.

I have already done 2 days of Vidaza (this is for MDS condition), and am taking it well. I was able to drive there and back - now, that is a major achievement. (Paul had meetings on these days)

By GOD's grace I shall enjoy each day with His strength. I hold firmly to Isaiah 41:10 - He will uphold me with His righteous right hand.

days 06/07/08 Tuscany

We set off to Tuscany which is north of Rome. Paul decided on a small car for the 4 of us as he was told the country roads are narrow and undulating. But we had difficulty fitting 4 suitcases plus hand-carrys into the boot (that means no major shopping is possible....ah...but we still did some and we still manage to stuff everything into the car!).

It was a lovely drive, only about 300 plus km. The countryside is tranquil; such a sharp contrast from the ancientness of Rome. We drove by the vineyards and many vines were heavy with big, juicy black grapes. It is really an incredible feeling - the rolling meadows, the narrow winding roads, passing through little quaint villages on the hills, surrounded by stony, rock walls. We got to our destination before sunset and were able to rest before dinner. This place la Su is an old castle with rooms decorated with period pieces - Napoleonic, antique furniture, old China; it has its own little museum with 2 friendly cats - one kept brushing against my legs after he got familiar with me.

The first room we went in was so "antique-looking" that I got some kind of phobic feeling and I curled under the sheets. My dear friend LM was so quick to let us have their room which looked much cheerier.

day 05 ancient Rome

One advice I would give to anyone visiting Rome, is that you will need the help of a guide. We had the help of II, who drove us around and told us the history of each ancient site. There is so much to see and amazingly they are still well preserved, despite the millions of visitors. With II, we could get an overview of the major sites within 1 day. I guess I will have to go back again and then walk through each one at a slower pace if I want to see them up close.

The Roman Forum of Caesar (This site is huge, we viewed it from a distance, at a higher elevation, that way we could see the whole place, there were many huge columns, arches, some broken, some totally missing. II has a book which shows the original as an artist imagined, the the ruins as it is now)
- The Forum of Trajan and Augustus
- The Piazza Del Campidoglio with its splendid view of the Imperial City
- The Coliseum (This is where the gladiators fight to death with one another or against ferocious animals, all for the viewing pleasure of the Emperor, palace officials and the Roman commoners. The movie, Gladiator would have been shot here or was it on a set?)
- Circus Maximus
- The Appian Way (and the catacombs, the underground burials of the Romans. It is really an incredible, extraordinary network under the earth. I believe some still contain the bones of the dead. The one we visited was cleared for viewing, we could see the wall drawings depicting the person buried, his status and background. I didn't follow the tour as I felt claustrophobic and the air was stale, so we went out earlier. However we went to a small building with exhibits of what were in the catacombs.
- The Antique Walls of Cinta
- The Pantheon

A day is really not enough to fully appreciate the ancient history of Rome but we had a good overview

medical update

Last week, I had my review and we thank the LORD that I am progressing well. I should be going on to the 3rd cycle of Vidaza, first week of November. The immunity level has improved and BMD - bone mineral density - amazingly is back to normal level, for a multiple myeloma patient, this is very good news. We have not receive M-band result, Doctor G is hopeful, said it would be "icing on the cake" if the band is low. He said that I am at VGPR -very good partial response. Clinically, I look very well so it is difficult to understand some of the readings. Ultimately we have to be guided by M-band and bone marrow readings therefore it is necessary to continue with some form of treatment to reach a safe level. I think that is what Doctor G is trying to do. I am very grateful for the watchful care in the way he is managing my condition. Our thanks to you and your continual prayers to uphold us and to our LORD for His grace and favour.

day 04 Vatican, Sistine

(these photos are not of the Sistine chapel...when I get from from SL, I will update here..)

Today, our friends SL and LM arrived. They will join us for the rest of Rome and Italy.

Now we start with all the must-see attractions of ancient Rome. To do this, we needed a guide, it is really not possible to see Rome on our own, there is just too much history and not easy to drive around Rome. We had booked a personal guide; and that way we will be able to stop and rest whenever we need to.

I took some hours in the morning to go to a craft shop to get some yarn. The place I wanted to go to, had close and wonderfully, the lady next door gave us another address. We took a cab there and very quickly I was able to get 20 balls of cotton/viscose yarn. I, not speaking Italian and the salesman not a word of English, we managed to communicate...amazing! He clambered up a ladder to pull out 2 boxes of the colour I wanted. I am so satisfied with my purchase and they were for a pretty good price at 3 euro a ball. Light cotton, just right for Singapore weather. (Ha...I have already started to knit with them).

We met with our guide at the lobby of the hotel and she took us straight to the Vatican museum - we spent the afternoon there. It is a must-see for all visitors to Rome - the Vatican museum, Sistine chapel and St. Peter Basilica. We didn't have to wait long to get in, surprisingly we were told there were not that many people, but to us, it was CROWDED! My impression is that there are just too many things to see - sculptures everywhere, paintings everywhere, tapestries everywhere, mosaic art everywhere - it was just too much - very difficult to appreciate. It is not like some museums, there is great "show" of a small piece history; and a painting or sculpture standing so prominently on its own and all eyes on it. Here, everywhere there is art and masterpieces, and you can't stop and to appreciate every single one. All become so common.

But our guide was very helpful in drawing our attention to some important "must-see" masterpieces.

Yes, the walls and the ceilings of the Sistine Chapel, are indeed majestic and magnificent. But they are just too far away to appreciate and the crowd made it impossible. The ceilings are almost 2-storey high, tried hard but cannot make out the images ...so looking and reading the Rome Travel book is great...

By the time we went into St. Peter Basilica, I was getting tired. I decided to hop out to get some fresh air and sat down to rest. That was a smart move. Stop and rest when my body tells me so, does not matter that I don't see everything. There will always be another day.....thank GOD for strength to do something but not everything!

day 03 Hadrian Villa and Tivoli

Another day outside of Rome. We took a half day tour to visit Emperor Hadrian's Villa, Villa d'Este and Tivoli - they are very close to each other. We would be back in Rome by 1pm.

Hadrian's Villa was built as a private summer retreat and as a vast open-air museum of the finest architecture of the Roman world. The palace ground covers an area of 120 hectares and filled with full-scale reproductions of buildings from Greece and Egypt. There are massive columns and ancient bathhouses, gym and libraries - all showing off the advance literary and culture of those times. It's grand. It's amazing.

Villa d'Este is in Tivoli - it is a cool hill-side town. The Villa occupies an old Benedictine convent, it is now well known for its terraced gardens and fountains (100). From the convent we walked out to the gardens and it was downwards all the way - almost 4 storeys. There were many fountains at the various levels of the terraces - the fountains got bigger and grander as we walked on.

day 02 Garden Borghese

Borghese to be pronounced as bor-jes-si. This villa and park was laid out by Cardinal Scipione Borghese, favourite nephew of Pope Paul V.

This is a most lovely garden and the biggest at the north end of ancient Rome. Our hotel is a few minutes walk from it so we decided to spend the day at the garden and visit the famous Galleria Borghese. I think of all our 12 days in Rome, this day was the best and most enjoyable. We took a leisurely walk through this enchanting garden. Our appointed time for the visit of the Galleria was at 1pm (all visit is best booked in advance through the website, as it is likely tickets will be sold out by the day itself - there is a limit to the number allowed in at each time slot of 2 hours). We had more than enough time to stroll through the garden as we were there at 10 am

There is this statue of poet Byron and under it, an inscription. Was it written by Byron himself or by Childe Harold of Byron, we don't know. But here it is....

"But I have lived, and have not lived in vain;
My mind may lose its force, my blood its fire;
And my frame perish even in conquering pain;
But there is that within me which shall tire,
Torture and time, and breathe when I expire."

This little reflection of man's short life, full of energy and passion; but for all mankind, we must surrender to its end. No one can hold to life forever. Let us learn to live it with open hands, receiving all its blessings with gladness and joy as well as its equal measure of sorrows. And at its end, be ready to meet one's Maker.

For a simple break we stopped by the zoo, the nearest place to the Galleria for a light snack. Just before 1pm, the Galleria was already filled with people. We rented 2 audioguides to help us as we walk through the exhibits. There are 2 floors, the sculpture collection occupies the whole ground floor and the picture gallery is on the upper floor. No photography is allowed, we leave with only memories of the masterpieces. We are very impressed by the marble scupltures which w

are life-like and in excellent condition.

The star sculptures are: Apollo and Daphne by Bernini (the transformation into a tree - the lightness of the leaves), Pauline Borghese by Canova, Rape of Proserpine by Bernini, the sleeping Hermaphrodite and David with his sling (the twist of his body). What a feast for the eyes! Such great artistry!

day 01 at SS and Trevi

day 01 at Spanish Steps and Trevi fountain

We arrived early in the morning and got into Rome by 9.30am and we were very thankful that we were given our room (check in time is actually 2pm) and we could rest. After lunch we took a short walk to the Spanish Steps, a popular tourist sight. Trinita dei Monti - we saw a most impressive sculpture by Danielle de Volterra in the left of this small French chapel with its outstanding twin bell towers that can be seen from the other 6 hills in Rome. Rome as we know was built on 7 hills.
The steps were crowded with many people sitting on it and having a panoramic view of the city. We sat for some minutes and shared a packet of roasted chestnuts that was bought from a roadside stall.
We stopped by Cafe Grecco, a 1760 cafe, favourite meeting place of poets Keats, Byron, composers Liszt, Wagner. We had cappuccino and saw the black and white photos of these famous people hanging on the walls.
Refreshed with potent Italiano coffee, we took a walk to Trevi fountain. But this place was crowded, we could not go near it but its magnificent fountain could be viewed and enjoyed from a distance. Praise the LORD, it is was indeed a glorious piece of art - Neptune flanked by two Tritons - symbolise the contrasting moods of the sea - aggression and docile.
Just these 2 sights for the day.

12 days in Italy

Yes, by GOD's grace, we spent 12 days in Italy. What a special treat! Italy is a beautiful country and Rome has such a grand history. It is really impossible to see all the sights but we managed to experience some of the most distinctive character of this ancient city.

Throughout our time there, I am very conscious of God's grace and loving-kindness. I do not presume I am able to do everything just like everyone. But each morning I awake to receive the day with gratitude because whatever I can do, I rejoice. Most time I am able to spend a few hours in the morning enjoying the sights and by late afternoon I get back to the room to rest. That is really good enough for me. I know that I cannot over-stretch myself.
We had the wonderful company of our dear friends SL and LM.
I shall recount our days and show some photos.

Beautiful tree

This September many trees and bushes are flowering. In our neighbourhood there is a beautiful tree that look so grand and splendid. It reminds me of the cherry blossom of Japan. Each day as we drive pass this tree, we are so awed by its magnificence. But it dropped its flowers daily and around the base we find the road covered with a concentric pink. It is now bereft of this colourful beauty - so momentary and is gone. But this old tree will surely flower again.

We praise the Creator for His handiwork "...how awesome His works in man's behalf!"

An achievement

Finally the product of 6 months of hard work at knitting. I am really very pleased with the outcome. I started on my sweater in April and Paul's in June. In between I did a couple of smaller knits - dolls and berets. The time I needed to stay home and rest was mostly spent on knitting. I hope it has not become an addiction because I must have time for activities. Sitting down too long at one position is not good for the back...says the physiotherapist.

It was really hard work because of the "cable" and cable work cannot have mistakes, else the pattern will look weird. Mistakes had to be painstakingly unravelled and re-knitted, after many of such errors, I managed to figure out how to short-cut the corrections. The earlier I find the mistake, the easier and quicker to put it right. Mistakes such as dropped stitch, purl when it should be knit, cable right when it should be left etc. I learn much along the way and the book "ultimate knitting bible" a Christmas gift from G and A, came in very handy. Knitting pieces like this, is a slow process, I may do 8 to 10 rows a day. Therefore as I finish each side or each sleeve, I was happy and finally to put them together and eventually it became wearable, I was ecstatic. Someone says that our life is a tapestry, when the work is small, you can't really appreciate it but really, each piece of work is painstakingly done by the Master. We are very precious in GOD's sight.

To break from the monotony of knitting the sweaters, I stopped now and then to do something "fun" - the dolls. One of it was given to the grand-daughter of a good friend for her 3rd birthday and the other for Ashley, her birthday is coming up in October (keep it a secret). I hope she will like it.

Most of all I am just so thankful to my sister for teaching me how to knit and I know she will be very proud of what I have done.

Good progress

Yesterday was my review with Dr. Teoh. He is happy with my result - RBC is good, WBC is at the low of normal range and he wants to see it go up, the others seems to be where they should be. Compared to cycle 1, my recovery this time is better. We did not check for MM band and should not let it distract us. No medication until I see him next month, then I will get a complete check - depending on the level, I may or may not have to do bone marrow aspirate, may or may not go on to Vidaza cycle 3 and will get infusion of Zometa. In the meantime I am free from all medication! (except for calcium and vit B supplements) Thank you to our LORD. This is special grace from Him.
I was slightly tired the last week and obediently stayed away from crowds but I shall return to church this Sunday. I have been able to attend small group bible study on Tuesdays and I have been going for physiotherapy on my back. I should be able to go biking again.
Finally I shall reveal the outcome of what I have been doing since April when I started on this new regime. Wait till the next blog... I am getting the photos to post....

Big Bird and Snoozer

Yes, I am all done with Vidaza and if the response is good, I may not have to get cycle 3 at all. Let's trust and commit it to the LORD. I will go back for test on 7th Sept. Though last week was quite uncomfortable, I seem quite fine now but will keep watchful for next 10 days, the tiredness may set in.

I have to say that my appetite is coming back... I had the most wonderful chicken rice at Big Bird (Balmoral). The rice and chilli is superlicious but chicken was rather fat (avoid the skin etc). When we called Russ to tell him that we were bringing it back for him... it triggerred his memory of the potently hot capsicum. Friend J said that her husband who just started chemo, is losing his taste, food is becoming bland.... let's persevere, by GOD's grace the taste buds will return. I pray too for brother-in-law Benno now that chemo and radiotherapy have ended, his body to start to recover and be strong and for him to be able to eat and swallow again.

Yesterday and this morning we did a bit of cycling just to check if I still have the energy as before.... not too bad... now we can call our friends again. See the photo (to be attached) of Paul carrying our King Charles. We ordered a pet carrrier from Snoozer and it just came in. Looks like Snook likes biking too! It will be really wonderful to bring S with us. When we were walking we could take him but when we started to cycle, we could not. But now he can join us ...sometimes...Paul said he was heavy! Anyway there is restrain within the carrier so he cannot fall out.

1 day more

I have done 6 days of V jabs and one more day to go!
I must admit that this cycle has not been smooth going. I had low grade fever for most days with slight headache. Really poor appetite by end of day...ok with breakfast and lunch but cannot eat much for dinner. The nauseous feeling and smell of food quite disconcerting but it is not that bad because I have just 1 more day and all these minor irritants should go away in due course hopefully by end of this week.
I told Paul that even if he dangled a crab it front of me, my eyes wouldn't sparkle....

The tummy has been rather sore with all the jab marks, this time seems more reactive.
It could be that after 3 months of rest and no medication, my body has forgotten the discomfort and therefore now reacts even more. But as I say, it's only 1 more day of jabs.

Vidaza 2nd cycle

Dr Gerrard Teoh has given the green light to start Vidaza 2nd cycle. He is very happy with the blood test result showing that my immunity level has improved - the wbc is at 5.7 (from 3.7) - back to normal range. The IGs have also improved. He thinks that a second cycle is necessary and would be sufficient.
Although I am mentally prepared to start Vidaza o2 next week, I am mindful that we must continue to depend on the LORD every step of the way. Like chemo, these biologic drugs can cause adverse reaction eventhough I had used it before...like the one I had with the infusion of immunoglobulin. So let us commit everything to the LORD and seek His protection.
From tuesday, I will receive the 4 V jabs daily for 7 consecutive days. After the 7th day, the blood count may drop for the next 10 days to 3 weeks - this period I shall again stay reclusive but I think going out to the parks is permissible and is good. So...if you do not see me around, don't worry....I shall appear in due course....by GOD's grace!

[I can't tell you about M-band, haven't got the latest reading...but let's not let it "bug" me...just concentrate on Vidaza]

happy bikers

Back to biking with my comrades-in-exercise. We are coming along real fine. Paul said we did 13km from carpark 7 of Changi Beach Park all the way to Changi Point and back and a third of the stretch of Changi Coastal Road. There are 6 rest huts along the Coastal Road, we cycled to the second one. Not bad, I am not sure if I can do all six. Except for S and I, the rest have cycled the entire stretch from the National Sailing Centre to Changi Point- that is 30km return!

For me, I will go slow.

super Hugger

wow, what a super-Hugger.

Russ' long, splindly arms could have wrapped around me two times over! @white sandy beach of terengganu

See the coconut tree that pierced through the roof of hut at the background.

family@terengganu

the boys went with us to terengganu but melissa could not, not with young thaddaeus in the atr-72 turboprop. it was good to have some concentrated time with the boys before they start their uni terms in mid august - gerald has six months to go in economics with smu and russell looking forward to start four years with school of arts and design at ntu.

our days were spent on the light-orangish beach with mildly strong waves, paul and the boys quite like to be in the waters and jumping the waves. i went in only once (wonderful - first time in many years) paul remarked it has been years since we were last on the beach with our family. we like such nature times like walking, hiking and beaching - interacting with your grown children in such settings is very different from talking with them over dinner table.

at meal time - paul took the opportunity to encourage them to speak a lesson from scripture - each of them had to make a sharing of 15 minutes - paul started with the first morning on ephesian 1 - that we glorify GOD when we live out our lives to His praise and His glory. gerald took the second day - from 2 chronicles 30 where hezekiah interceded for his people who were not purified and yet ate the passover - "may the LORD who is good pardon everyone who sets his heart on seeking GOD even if he is not clean according to the rules of the sanctuary" - GOD accepts the intercession of those whose hearts are right with Him. adele took the third day - from acts - the trial of paul before king agrippa - to recount how perfect GOD's plan is and how that truly serves the purpose of His will - noone can thwart His plans. russell who was to share on the last day, missed his opportunity "gleefully" (we shall hound him back here).

praise the LORD! - we all went to the tennis court and i could pick up the racket and stroked a few times with the boys! i think that all the cycling has improved my stamina just that little bit more - i cannot run around but i certainly can swing the racket from one spot - surely and steadily, over time, i can move a little bit more.

praise the LORD again! - paul and i climbed up jara hill - we didn't know it was hilly like the bukit timah forested area. mistakenly, i had told paul it was a walk in the garden around the resort, so we booked our intent with the reception. but when we met with the guide at the base of the hill, we looked at the entrance of the forest and were a bit hesitant. the guide said it is not a difficult climb, steep only at the start. if paul had said, no, we would have backed out but puzzlingly for me, he didn't! maybe it was because there was only 2 of us and he did not want to disappoint the guide. well, i completed the walk through the forest terrain - up to the highest look-out point where a pair of eagles supposedly have their nest. remarkable... later back in our room, paul took another look at the brochure that described the activities... this walk up jara hill was texted as an "arduous" 45 minute climb!

all in all it was a profitable and beneficial time for the family.