B-I-L

There are now 3 persons I know who are battling cancer. One is my dearest brother-in-law, Benno who was just diagnosed with gullet cancer (he had his stomach removed last year). After several weeks of radiotheraphy and chemo, he was hospitalised with high fever. Eating food is with much difficulty, everything has to go down the gullet which is being radiated. Mostly, his nutrition is in the form of liquids or pureed food. Even swallowing liquid can be painful. He takes one hour to consume his meal - a 200ml liquid and has to take 6 small meals a day. Most of his waking hours are now spent on food consumption. Eating has become a chore, not so pleasant and delightful anymore. We, on the other hand, take for granted our ability to eat. As we say our grace, we truly must thank GOD - when we can chew and swallow, we can taste the sweetness and sourness.

I woke up too early this morning and my mind went to these 3 - how should I pray for them - the other two friends are on 24-hour pain medication, their physical bodies are not functioning and in constant pain. One not on treatment (too many already and no more for now) but has to bear with pain and the other has to start treatment soon. I tried to recall how I felt in my early years with MM and what kind of words would comfort me. Those times when I could only lie in bed and in the quiet of the dark night, what went through my mind? Are they now lying in bed, awake and not able to sleep, are they in pain, those pain that would not go away even when medicated? In times like these we can only call on the grace of our LORD. I truly believe in "little miracles" - when sleep just wouldn't come, when pain refuse to go away, when breathing becomes arduous - we call on the name of Jesus to rescue us and yes, the miracle can happen.

What did I need at those times? What will my friends and B need? I needed the LORD to strengthen my heart (Psalm73:26). My heart is the seat of my emotions - feelings of fear, sadness, insecurity, anxiety, despondency, frustration. There were many such moments. But when the LORD strenghtens my heart, I truly experience peace and even joy, and as I shared several times before, a state of blessedness. This is what I must pray for my friends and B, that they may experience these "little miracles" when the LORD gives them peaceful sleep; when He gives them moments free of pain and when they wake up rejoicing with praise on their lips. My words would be so inadequate to comfort them. But there is power in the miraculous strengthening from our compassionate GOD - "my flesh and my heart may fail, but GOD is the strength of my heart and my portion forever"

My brother-in-law is such a kind and happy-at-heart sort of person and he can talk for hours on many topics. He loves to garden and very good with his hand - he constructed the shower compartment in his bathroom, dug his own pond, renewed his garden with a Japanese-theme. I remember our holidays years ago when (little) Gerald and Russell would tumbled over him on the grassy slopes and Melissa would ride with him on his bike. He had so much to talk to them and taught them how to appreciate the smell of manure in the farm (to love nature and recognise its beauty). I thank GOD for these memories and hope the LORD would grant us some more years together - I would like Thaddaeus to get to know his granduncle.